ᴢɪᴘᴘᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟs | ᴄʜʀɪs sᴄʜɪsᴛᴀᴅ [sᴋᴀᴍ]

９. Ｔｈｅａ

The first thought that came to my mind when I opened my eyes is that soft drugs are not such a bad thing if dreams become so realistic and desirable. It took me a moment to catch the smell of Schistad filling the room, to notice that the pillow next to me was squashed out of shape, and to realize that I was lying in my pajamas, not in the underwear I fell asleep in.

I walked barefoot into the bathroom: there were stains on the floor, as if someone was trying to remove water from a tile with a dirty floor cloth, Christoffer's toothbrush was in the sink, and a box of paper towels was knocked over onto a washing machine. It was as if he once again could not overcome his rage, made a mess here, but could not find the strength to take away the traces.

Now I knew that the night with Schistad was not a dream, but this knowledge only exacerbated the situation. Because now Chris will not write off everything on the effect of alcohol or weed as he successfully did with our kiss at the party: this time he was sober. And I perfectly understood that there are only two explanations that can justify his behavior yesterday. Either he shares my feelings, or he's just lustful asshole who takes advantage of the girl's state. That he dumped in the morning without even bothering to wake me up confirmed the second theory, but I knew him too well.

If he crossed the line, it could only mean that he finally gone mad, like me two weeks earlier. And to be honest, it would be better if I were sure that Chris just didn't care who to put his dick into, and this was just another planned action. Eventually, I could cope with all this, but now both of us were going down.

Despite my yesterday's state, I remembered how he felt inside me, remembered how he licked my neck, remembered how he could not restrain himself, moaning and clinging with his fingers to my shoulder blades.

He did not behave like the usual Christoffer who rejoiced that he had got some again. Even in my head it sounded weird, but he gave himself to me as if he had seen me for the last time, as if he did not believe that all this was happening, but he wanted to make this moment perfect. I could not believe that he was like that with everyone.

Besides, Schistad was courting me like a mother when I felt bad. It did not fit in with the image of an indifferent fuck-boy; he would never allow himself to be like that with me.

My own thoughts oppressed me, and I did not know what to do with all this now.

══════════

Nilsen folded his arms over his chest and looked at the entrance to the school, expecting to see me. He texted me he would wait for me in the yard, but did not know that I had not shown up at the first lesson.

To be honest, all Sunday I cleaned the house before my parents arrived, then I put my body in order after the party, watched sad movies, turned off my phone, and just spent time alone. On Monday, I felt like a completely different person. A person who, for once, has found the strength to sort everything out.

I confidently approached Henrik, and when he turned in my direction with a wide smile, I still did not smile at him. Didn't hug him back.

"Everything okay?" He sounded worried, so I hesitated a little and looked down. I was brave when I started this relationship to spite Schistad, but now, when I had to take one step for myself, damn it, I got shy like a first grader. "You look good for a girl who propped her back on all the walls in Elias's house."

It was awkward. Probably good girls don't go to parties without their boyfriends and don't get drunk there. And, most likely, don't use anything illegal. They probably don't sleep with their best friends, and they don't fall in love with them, too.

"They told you already, didn't they?" I continued to stand close to Henrik. He wasn't going to let me out of his hands, although I did not hug him back. "I should have warned you, it's happened so suddenly."