SOMEWHERE by the Sea

Fault

Reclining on her sofa, Vicky rehashed her day with Michael. He was a wonderful man and their visit to the lighthouse was something she would cherish.

Because of the scene evoked by Michael's words, she had privately decided to paint a lighthouse. The painting, however, would be more than just a ship and a lighthouse. Its very essence would be navigating the reefs of life to find haven in the midst of sorrow. Already she was planning to return to the site so she could paint under the presence of the lighthouse.

A tear trickled down her cheek because she knew the painting was for her. It was her way of navigating back into the stream of life. She would begin anew by using her paintbrush to stroke away the guilt that had consumed her since her brother's death. Another tear trickled and she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Owen."

Her cell phone rang and she gulped back tears. Taking a few seconds to compose herself, she finally answered the ringtone she recognized as being from Faith. "Hi, Faith."

"Hi, hon. I was wondering if you were free. Baxter and I would like to stop by."

"I'd love for you to come over. What time? I'll make some fresh tea and set out the cookies."

"Is two hours too soon?"

"Not at all. I'll see you then." Vicky hung up and smiled. It sounded like Baxter and Faith had resolved their differences and were back together.

Two hours later she opened the museum door and welcomed her friends, and although they smiled, she intuited that something was amiss. Had they not reconnected? If so, why were they together? They followed her upstairs to her sitting room where she had set out a tray of cookies and a pitcher of tea. "Have a seat while I grab some ice." She walked to her kitchen nook and opened the fridge.

Neither Baxter nor Faith said anything and Vicky was starting to feel apprehensive. Something was definitely wrong and somehow she was involved. She set a bowl of ice on the coffee table. "Why don't you go ahead and grab some cookies while I pour our tea?"

She was about to put ice in one of the glasses, when Baxter said, "Let's talk first."

Now she was feeling really anxious and expressed her concern. "Okay, something's going on. Both of you act like you're at a funeral." She stared into Baxter's eyes.

Baxter swiped a hand across his jaw, glanced at Faith, and finally said, "I don't even know how to begin."

Vicky frowned and looked at Faith. "Do you know what this is about?"

She nodded.

"Then why don't you begin?"

Faith pressed a finger against her left temple as if she had a headache.

Vicky leaned forward. "What the hell is going on?"

Faith's lips trembled when she said, "Yesterday, Baxter and I saw your brother Owen, and Baxter talked to him."

For a moment Vicky couldn't respond, but then she reared backward and shouted the obvious, "He's dead!"

Baxter joined the conversation. "I don't understand how it's possible, but Faith is telling the truth. We both saw him and Rex yesterday, and I talked to him."

Faith interjected, "He's been trying to get a message to you."

Jumping to her feet, Vicky stared at her friends. "Baxter, Faith, why are you doing this? You know how much his death devastated me and destroyed my family. Why would you want to hurt me like this?"

Baxter dropped a bombshell. "He told us to tell you his death wasn't your fault. You weren't the last person to throw the Frisbee into the water—he was."

Vicky had been about to ask Baxter and Faith to leave when his words shocked her into collapsing back onto the sofa. She stared dumbfounded at her friends.

Twisting her hands in her lap, Faith said, "Let me start at the beginning and walk you through the events leading up to yesterday."

Over the next several minutes, Vicky learned about Faith's two personal encounters with Owen and Rex and the times she'd seen him from afar or heard him calling for his dog, and finally Baxter's encounter the day before that Faith had witnessed. Vicky also learned of Gabby's conversation with a psychic three years earlier. By the time Faith and Baxter were finished, Vicky felt drained and exhausted.

Baxter completed the story by saying, "One of the last things Owen said was, 'Tell Vee I'm sorry for reading her diary.'"

Vicky gasped and buried her face in her hands. It was time to confess what had happened during her last encounter with her brother. In faltering words she said, "We were at the beach and I...I was angry at Owen for reading my diary. It was late afternoon and no one was around because the season was over." She hesitated long enough to catch her breath. "I picked up the Frisbee and tossed it as far out into the waves as I could and...and Owen yelled at me, calling me Vee, which I hated, and said I was being mean. I made a face at him as Rex was running into the waves." She swiped her tears and sobbed, "Then Owen ran after Rex and that was the last time I saw them because I didn't wait for them to get out of the water."

Faith left her chair and came to sit beside Vicky. She placed her arm around her. Vicky allowed herself the comfort and said against Faith's shoulder, "I've always believed that my brother's drowning, and then my family falling apart, was because of me."

Faith smoothed Vicky's hair. "Honey, I don't understand what's happened, but Owen wants you to know his death wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident. It–" Suddenly Faith stopped speaking and began crying. Her crying turned into a wail and Vicky leaned forward grasping her friend by the shoulders. "Faith, what's wrong?"

With lightening speed, Baxter moved to the couch and sat on the other side of Faith. "Honey, talk to me!"

While Faith continued weeping, both Baxter and Vicky tried to ascertain what was wrong. On a huge shudder Faith said, "I've been doing the same thing. I've blamed myself for my husband's and child's deaths. I never told anyone that the night of the crash my husband wasn't feeling well, so I offered to drive, but he insisted it wasn't necessary." She sobbed, "I shouldn't have listened to him. Hammond sometimes had migraines that blurred his vision, and I know that's what happened. The report said he veered into oncoming traffic and then overcorrected, sending the car into a tree..." Her voice trailed. "But I was watching a documentary on television that I didn't want to miss." She cried out, "I should have been driving the car! My selfishness killed them!"

**********

Baxter returned from the bathroom with a Kleenex box and sat between Vicky and Faith. He placed an arm around each of them, and for a long time no one said anything as they realized their years of turmoil had finally come to an end. Objectively, he could now see his own shortcomings that had played a role in his divorce. He knew that much of the antagonism he'd directed toward his ex-wife was really frustration over his own inadequacies and immaturity.

Aloud he said, "In all of our tragedies there was the probability they could have been averted if different choices were made, and had we known the future, we would have chosen differently. But the bottom line is that Owen returned to teach us something. He taught us that unforeseen results often happen because decisions are made in anger as with Vicky, or ignorance as with Faith, or willful ignorance as with me. But in each case none of us could have foreseen the dreadful outcomes, and if we could change our responses, we would in a heartbeat. Owen's message is that it's time to move on; it's time to release the past because living with guilt will not change anything. It will only destroy three more lives." He pulled Faith and Vicky closer. "The question we have to ask ourselves now is how do we want to shape our futures?"