Unworthy

Why am I not allowed a touch of hapiness ? Everything which makes me happy always slip from my fingers. Am I unworthy ? What did I do to deserve this ?

Ron

I want an answer

Ron, his hair, his face, his hands... I love all about him. All.

I want an answer

Ron, he is the first person who made me happy. The very first.

I want an answer

The dursley always stole my hapiness. Dudley broke my toys and the few friendships I was able to make. Aunt Petunia broke my appetite, never giving more than scraps, once a day. Uncle Vernon broke my bones if I dared do better than Dudleykins.

They are filthy.

I need an answer

Do I fit with them, being as unworthy of happiness? 

I can see Ron say hello to his family.

They are happy.

Why can't I be happy ? Am I unworthy ?

Please, reply to me

I can see Ron say bye to his girlfriend, Hermione.

Why are they happy when I cannot be happy myself ?

I need a reply

It would take only two words. Avada Kedavra. Two words and I could be alone with the person I love and long for. Ron. I love him.

He is happy. Why can't I be ?

Am I unworthy ?

I can feel my wand in my pocket. Two words and I will be happy. Two words.

'Bye Harry ! See you next year !' Ron.

I love him, but I am unworthy.

I cannot be happy. I'm unworthy.

I can feel my smile on my face, I can feel my hand going up, waving, I can hear myself bid goodbye.

We are different Ron. I am unworthy. Of you. Of happiness.

I am filthy.

I can see the Dursley waiting for me, far away. I can hear uncle Vernon tell me to hurry up, I can see aunt Petunia looking around her with a disgusted snarl, I can imagine Dudley break my nose and my glasses.

I am filthy.

Just like them.

So I belong with them.

In filthiness.

For I am unworthy.