Save Me

3

"Why did you do it?" John suddenly asked. Which made them all look at me.

Fuck.

I had to explain that shit too?

"I was fucking done with life dear, I still am fucking done with life if I'm being honest."

It was silent again.

Well done Freddie, you ugly fucking piece of shit! You ruin every, fucking, thing!

"I'd rather be dead right now," I said truthfully staring at them feeling absolutely nothing.

"Fuck Freddie! We knew you weren't feeling good but we didn't think it was so bad," Roger whispered sad and confused.

"I'm sorry I fucked up. It's just, nothing was working, the album was taking a long time and I had a lot on my mind, with the breakup between me and Mary it was very hard." I said while a tear escaped my eye.

"Oh, Fred," Brian said while walking up to me to give me a hug. I needed a hug. And I was very thankful for him giving me one.

They didn't know the real reason I broke up with Mary, I told them she didn't like me anymore. But I was gay and I hated myself for it. She visited me though but it was very awkward and we didn't talk much. I was lonely and I just wanted a nice guy to love me. But I couldn't say that to my friends, they would be disappointed and ashamed of me. No one can love me. Not even myself.

The lady walked in again to give me some food and water. I wasn't hungry. Nor was I thirsty. I wanted some pills, or alcohol actually. I was six bloody weeks without. Probably the longest I've ever been.

"When will Freddie be able to go home?" Brian asked the lady.

"In a week, if everything goes to plan of course." She answered, with a big smile on her face as if Brian was a ten-year-old who had just gotten a sticker for his good behavior. That annoyed me.

Brian gave her a smile as she walked away. It fell silent again.

"So lovies, what have I missed in the last six weeks?" I tried to start a conversation. And it worked, a bit.

We talked for half an hour about the things I missed but It wasn't a happy or nice conversation. It was more of a holyshitwhathadjusthappend, conversation and no one was really paying attention. They were all thinking, about god knows what.