Midnight Thoughts by Pretha Ratnam

All at Once

Today first time in my life, I experience a major heartbreak. People do say "sometimes everything hits u all at once." And that's what exactly happened to me today. For the past 1 week, I couldn't tell anyone what I was going through, how depressed I am. All I do was only sitting there and putting fake smile on my face. I didn't thought this tragedy will hit my family so hard. I was finding ways to help them out. I couldn't believe my loved ones suffered alot in this issue. After going through this depressed week, I decided to stop my further studies. I prepared myself to meet the uni management on this coming Monday.

Jz now I had a conversation with my mom. I confess everything that I had in my mind. I literally couldn't stop crying. All I was thinking, is just want to be beside my father and hug him tightly for the rest of my life. After getting know my decision everyone was very shocked. The most important person was my father. The only thing he utter after hearing this was" seriously this is not the Pretha we all knew. My Pretha wouldn't fall that easily in her life. You've gone through alot babygirl. Pls dnt worry abt what has hit our family throughout this week. You are the strongest lady who always pull me out from tragedy, pls be there for Appa." That's where I find out a strong person will fall in their life at least once.

A good lesson my dad taught me today
" Sometimes everything hit you all at once. You lose your relationship. You lose your best friend. It's just for one day down to the next. Remember life is one big ocean and all we can do is go with the flow and adapt; transform with it all."
Remember guys this is what happens when a person tend to do things due to emotions. Cz of my emotions I tend to choose over quitting my studies. That's was not a sensible idea at all. Nvr ever do things when you're emotionally unstable.

Note to Appa ♥️
Appa jz remember, no matter what happens to our family all of ur children will be there for u. Eventhough, I'm far away from you all, I always can sense what's going on there. Remember as being elder of the family, I will lead my younger ones. Jz give me time, I will be there after finals. Will take over the problems together with you. Dnt worry, there will be a solution for everything my love. I love you Appa.