A Different Drum

A wise boy once told me
About the inside of a heart
How it beats
How it stutters
How it flutters
That it could live without its host

How we're just something holding it back
And that without us humans
our hearts would beat to a different drum
A never ending drum
A faster drum
A loud ass drum

He told me how we humans make this strong muscle stop and wait
Waiting for us to catch up
To pick up the pace
To our own never ending drum
This faster drum
This loud ass drum

This boy touched my skin
Reminding me of what it feels like to be touched
And just be held by another's hand
Our hearts beating as one

But I couldn't be fully aware
Of what he meant to me
I could hear nothing else
Above this never ending drum
This faster drum
This loud ass drum

He spread his fingers out
Reaching to the furthest corners of my skin
Right above this drum that never ends
He rubbed his thumb across the top of my chest
And whispered secrets I will never confess

My heart sped
My heart soared
My heart leaped further than it had ever before
Further into his hand
And his lips twitched in a funny looking grin
Cause he knew what he did to me
He knew that in moments like these
This drum beats for him
And him alone

But times change and love breaks
Leaving me with nothing but heartache
All that's left are memories of his touch
The way his chest rose and fell
His heart beating in sync with mine

That was all over now though
There's no need to relive the past
Not when it made this strong muscle feel weak
Not when that boy made my heart hurt to beat
Even if it used to stutter at the sight of him
And flutter when he laughed

No, because this heart was strong now
It would live on
it wouldn't be held back any longer
I don't need to have him touch me anymore
I didn't need to have him to make my heart race
No, because I'd keep up with its fast but steady pace

I didn't need his hand to feel warmth
Not when I felt comfort from my own
I didn't need to hear his drum beat loud enough for me to hear
I didn't need to hear my heart beat in sync with his
Because it didn't anymore, not for him

I heard my own heart beat
When I was quiet enough to stop and listen
I heard my own drum beat
When I focused on myself
I heard the rhythm of my own drum

I heard what it meant to be alive,
I heard what it was like to run
And finally, I didn't feel like my heart weighted a ton
Now that I learned the rhythm of my own drum

I decided to not let myself stop and wait for another to catch up
Because I didn't need help to listen to my heart
I was my own drum
My heart and I were one
I didn't need that boy to show me what it was like to have one
Because now, my heart was a strong and steady drum

I hear this drum beat
My own heartbeat
And I know this never ending drum
This faster drum
This loud ass drum
Now beats to a different drum