Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Chapter 6: Sauce

Over the past three days, she hadn't spoken a word to anyone other than Bam. She had spent long days at her office with Oscar, immersing herself in her work completely; she had gotten more done in 48 hours than she would usually in a week. Though she had always worked well under extreme duress, for the most part it wasn't personal. Seth too had purposely made himself scarce from the house, leaving the guys not wanting to awkwardly hang in Milly's house alone and subsequently hanging out in LA late into the night. They would get back to the house and all immediately disperse to their own rooms.

Completely exhausted she had decided to brave going home early afternoon in order to do basic life admin like grocery shopping and washing, and was pleasantly surprised the house was empty. Later that evening as she enjoyed the serenity of an asleep child and the calm of her own company, she folded the freshly laundered washing into piles on the kitchen table. When she turned to reach for her wine glass - carefully placed on a different surface to the white washing - she almost has a heart attack as Ville appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Jesus, you scared me to fucking death, Ville." She gasped, gripping her hand to her chest tightly. 

"Why didn't you tell Seth about me?" he questioned, bluntly, unable to stop the question firing from his mouth. Her jaw tightened as they made eye contact, the familiar surge of hurt bubbled in her stomach.

"Because you didn't deserve to be remembered."

"We loved each other." he snapped back, embittered.

"I don't want to talk about this." she laughed, setting her glass down and gathering up the washing piles.

"How about we talk about how much of bitch you're being not talking to me or your friends?" he said forcefully as she began to walk away with her clean washing, she stopped.

"How about we talk about your dirty fucking El Diablo facial hair?" she snarled, raising her eyebrows as she turned to look at him. Ville couldn't stop the cackle that came from him, he was taken aback, he wasn't expecting her to say that. At the same time, her eyes glazed over and rendered her almost sightless from the setting sunlight spilling in through the blinds and straight into her face. Ville smiled. 

"I didn't think I ever could, but it seems I forgot how beautiful you are." He spoke softly in Suomi. Similarly, she didn't think it would, but apparently her heart could still melt at his words.

"Don't." she pleaded. He moved closer to her and spoke quietly, as if it were a secret only for them to hear.

"Milly, please, I've missed you so much." he said, stroking his hand down her arm.

"Don't touch me." she said emotionally, pulling her arm away and moving backwards.

"For fuck's sake, Milly! This is driving us both insane. Something never resolved, never heals." he offered, his tone heated and frustrated. "We need to start to fix this." She was teeming with emotions; she didn't even know where to start. She knew it wasn't the best idea, but she succumbed to him as she always feared she would.

"I don't know how we can."

"The pact." he shrugged.

"No."

"Matilda." He said sternly.

"Jesus Christ, Ville." She worried, angrily.

"Darling, at first it was for my health, now it's personal gratification that I don't have to drink to solve my problems. You are every exception to this rule. I know you may want to completely erase the fact that you ever encountered me but you can't. You were part of this pact and it still, to this day, it has never been broken by any of us – in all this time."

~

'The Pact' was 21 questions and it always made them cry, reminisce, and most importantly, tell the truth; which is exactly why it was chosen as something any one of them was entitled to instigate during a fight when they were teenagers, because they'd never be mad with one another when it was over.

No one was allowed to decline and all twenty-one questions had to be asked and answered. Every minute that question wasn't answered, likewise with every unsatisfactory answer that was given and every addendum to a question, was met with a shot of tequila. They were an hour and a half, but only five questions, into the process; both of them unable to help adding-on to every question to find out more.

It started with Milly asking Ville if he loved the woman he cheated with. The answer didn't please her; he had maintained a rocky and horrid relationship with her since – fuelled by the hatred of himself for losing Milly and punishing himself as a reminder of what he lost.

Ville asked if she still loved him when she left; where she went after she left; when and where she met the man who fathered Oscar; how she met Seth and if she was happy with him; he had just asked if she wanted to marry Seth as much as she had wanted to marry him. A couple of tears tumbled down her cheek to her lap – they had both taken to leaning their backs against the kitchen wall, legs extended out in front of them, nursing their glasses in clammy hands. "I don't know."

"It's my biggest regret, hurting you." Ville said as he wiped the back of his sleeve across his cheek. "So do you?" he asked, inhaling sharply and regaining some of his composure.

"Do I what?"

"Want to marry him as much as you did me?"

"I-"

"Mummy.." Oscar's voice squeaked from out of sight. The interruption to her was heaven sent,

"Yes, darling?" she said, standing, albeit it wobbly, to look for him.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he asked, "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Well, Mummy and Ville were having a good old talk and we didn't realise the time," she replied walking towards him, "but, come on, we'll all go to bed now.." she said, extending her hand towards him.

"No!" he laughed, taking off at speed out of the room.

"Oscar!" she declared, shocked. She bolted out the room after him, hearing Ville follow after her. "Oscar enough now, it's very late." She sternly ordered, marching after him. She saw him dash back into the kitchen after doing a lap of downstairs, she followed to see him hiding under the kitchen table. "This is what I get for putting him to bed 3 hours early." she sighed. She pointing for Ville to go one side of the table, whilst she took the other.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are..." Ville sang, the both of them kneeling and peering under the table. Ville caught her gaze smiled as she sang in tune with him, causing her heart to flutter. Quickly reassessing the situation and realising how drunk she actually felt, she decided it was time to take immediate Mum action.

"Oscar, come out right this second or you are in big trouble." she said crossly.

"No!" he laughed, scrambling out from under the table, just out of reach of both of them. In both lunging toward him to try to grab him, Ville's head collided with Milly's nose and she saw stars.

"Tilt your head back." He ordered, moving her head.

"No, you're not supposed to ingest blood, Ville, stop..." she whimpered, swatting his hands away. Oscar started whimpering and crying as he looked up at his mother bleeding.

"Mummy..." he said holding her dangling foot as she sat on the table, her head bent over, dripping into a towel, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Pikku." He started crying more and it was making her feel flustered. "Shh, baby. I need quiet because I'm hurt, okay?" Ville crouched down in front of him and poked him in his little belly.

"Don't you think Mumma looks like a tough warrior with all that blood on her face? Huh, hunaja? She's super tough and strong, that's why she's not crying, hey.. Come on." He scooped him up and continued talking to him as she headed to the bathroom to wash her face. She studied her nose in the mirror, if definitely wasn't broken, and the bleeding had slowed down considerably. When she walked back into the kitchen, she couldn't see nor hear Oscar or Ville anywhere.

"Oscar?" she called out, "Ville?"

"Rarrgh!" they both growled, scaring her by jumping out from behind the wall, faces covered in red. She laughed, but played along.

"Oh my gosh! You're bleeding! How did this happen? You're both so big and strong!"

"Like you!" Oscar cackled, Milly squealed cutely and kissed her sons head.

"What the hell is going on down here?!" Seth questioned bitterly from behind them, obviously having been woken up by the commotion of the incident. Ville laughed nervously, noting that Seth was looking at Oscar and himself covered in ketchup and Milly who's shirt was smattered with actual blood. "What are you doing covered in fucking sauce?"

"Ville and I were talking and Oscar decided to wake up and join us." She explained, picking up her son - avoiding the sauce question.

"Mummy was bleeding!"

"Yes, thank you Oscar." She frowned.

"Bleeding?"

"Oh, Ville head butted me." She added casually, causing Ville to snigger.

"What?" he squinted, "You're drunk. Both of you." He said diligently, obviously questioning Ville's sobriety. "What's going on? Some of us have to get up in the morning and work, you know. Some of us have a child to be an example to..."

"Oh shut up Seth. I'm an adult, he's my son and I can get drunk whenever I want." She knew full well it wasn't because she was drunk, it was because she was drunk with Ville that he had a sour taste in his mouth. He was taken aback by her comment, but was still visibly annoyed. "We'll quiet down, I'm sorry we woke you up."

"Sure." He marched away without another word, she laughed quietly and blew a raspberry into Oscar's neck causing him to cackle loudly.

"Button it running man, Seth is angry."

"Why?" he asked innocently.

"Because he's a silly billy." She placed him down on the floor and wiped his face with her sleeve, figuring it was already covered with blood, sauce wasn't going to be an issue. "Go put cartoons on and I'll get you some milk, okay?" he padded off towards the living room, knowing full well how to use the television himself at 3.

"Are you okay?" Ville asked, placing a hand on her back. She nodded and smiled. Her smile melted his heart every single time.

"I wanted to marry you more, Ville." He smirked, coyly.

"Well, isn't that something."