Misfit Kids

Ruin

"Please!!" Riley begged as she watched through the glass door. "Please save him!"

She watched as the paramedics tried and failed to get Jay's heart beating. They resorted to giving him electric shocks with a defibrillator to try and jump start his heart.

Charge.

Shock.

Nothing.

Charge.

Shock.

Nothing.

No reassuring beeping on his heart monitor. No sighs of relief. Just the noise of the blank line that ran across the screen.

Time stretched on. The doctors offered their consolations. Empty words fell on empty ears. Riley sat in a trance, staring at Jay's cold hand in hers. It was taking on the bluish white pallor of one that has no life left.

Gone.

For the first time since being in the hospital Riley let a tear trickle down her cheek. She didn't sob or wail. Just let the tears leave glistening paths on her face and drip onto Jay's hand intertwined with hers. He wouldn't have allowed her to bawl her eyes out.

'Our badass reputation would be ruined,' he would joke.

Laughter would turn to coughing which would then send Riley running for a glass of water for him. Jay would take a few grateful gulps then place it on his lap. They would both pretend not to see the red wisps that had entered the glass and talk about something completely different. It would usually end in a tense silence, one so fragile the simplest breath could shatter it and send painful shards into their hearts.

One time it was too hard for her to bear and Riley took his hand, reading his palm silently. Her fingers traced the lines etched into his skin.

Fate Line.

Marriage Line.

Life Line.

"What do you see?" Jay asked.

"A long, happy future with an amazing wife and a child," Riley replied with a small smile.

"We haven't talked about kids yet have we," he stated. "I mean we're both 23 and just outta college. I haven't even proposed yet. Will we even get to try?"

Jay's bitter words made Riley angry. Not at him but at the situation. She felt as helpless as he did but there was one thing she was sure about.

She placed his hand on her stomach.

"We don't need to."

Jay raised his head to face her, his misty eyes hopeful.

"Really?" he breathed.

Riley nodded with a shaky smile. She squeezed his hand. He laughed softly.

"Now there's one more thing to live for," he said determinedly.

But it he couldn't do it. Jay's fight overwhelmed him. Now he lay still and lifeless, a peaceful yet sad expression on his face. Riley was finally starting show a bump but he wouldn't be able to see it. He didn't make it that far.

She turned his hand to look at his palm again.

Fate Line.

Marriage Line.

Life Line.

All so short. Practically nonexistent. But Riley hadn't told Jay that. She couldn't. She wouldn't. It was like a door closing everything off. Not that either of them believed in it but it seemed like there were signs everywhere pointing to the inevitable. She tried though. To ignore them. So did he. But you can't ignore what was inside your head. What it tells you.

"I can't," Riley whispered. "I can't do it Jay. It's too painful."

She rummaged through his medicine box until she found his powerful sleeping tablets. She took one out. She just wanted forget for a bit. Sleep it off. Then repeat the cycle so she could forget again. That's what she would do. Riley swallowed it down. When it kicked in she was holding onto Jay's hand and his face was the last thing she saw before she slipped into a dark oblivion.

It was the first thing she saw when she woke up screaming. He quickly scooped her up from the couch and held her on his lap as she cried into his shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around him as his were with her. Jay just swayed her gently as she calmed down until she could finally talk through her hiccups.

"What's wrong?" was the simple question he asked Riley.

She slowly explained the nightmare in a shaky voice.

"It was so horrible. If it was real that would've been the worst thing that could have ever of happened to me. For that to happen..." she wavered when she finished her experience.

Jay gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well it's good that it was just a bad dream then. We haven't picked up a cigarette since we turned 19 and I don't plan on going anywhere soon," he assured and kissed her forehead. "This is also the last time you watch sad movies while I work late. I'd rather not come home to see you crying in your sleep and then come close to a panic attack."

Riley nodded and calmed herself with seeing at how alive Jay looked to her. A teasing grin made its way onto his face.

"And we can't have crying ruining our badass reputation can we?"