More Than Broken[COMPLETED]

|Forty two|

Christel.

I stare at my black dress on my gigantic mirror, tears glistening in my eyes, wishing I could wear a different colour for this keeps reminding me of what we've lost. Who we've lost. That they are disconnected from the realm of the living. It keeps reminding that there is a dent in all our hearts. A dent that even time itself can't heal, but will keep on fading.

Black is a color of sorrow and  maybe we wear it to signify that we will be no longer with those we love. To remind us that they are no longer among the living. They are not coming back. A reality check.

I let my hair down and it cascade to the back of my neck. I pull on the knee length black dress with black heels.

I dress up acting brave for this hard time. For this pain eating within me. The pain I can't escape. I stare at my reflection before turning away. I head to my bed, trying to ignore ore the clenching of my heart. It's been a week since Elgon attacked and we are recovering from it, from all the loses that occured, from the lost ones. Yet I still feel hollow myself even after the attack.

He died just like a mortal after he - no! I shake my head erasing those thoughts in my mind.

A rather soft knock on my door interrupts me from my thoughts. I yell a barely audible 'come in' and Maddie steps into the room, a sad smile lighting her face making me sigh almost feeling the pain tangibly.

"It's time Christel." She whispers as she opens the door wider. I smile slightly giving her a short nod as we head towards the grave yard.

All the pack members are all assembled together, each one of them displaying emotions on their faces. Tears, pain, love, adoration, care and more that my own mind can't comprehend.

I take steps closer to his coffin as I stare at his pale, dull and lifeless face. To think that once that face had a smile, once it was so happy. Once it had emotions. Now it's cold, lifeless, void... gone.

The crowd all turn to me as I head forward towards him. I grab a white rose as I continue to stare at him. Marking each and every feature on his face. I even didn't know what to say. My throat kept constricting, and I keep pulling in some much needed oxygen. But even then, I find my lips opening, and words coming out of my lips.

"He was a great man, a great son,  a great friend. A great mate. Those who knew him, knew he was a man of few words. A man that kept to himself but with a heart of pure gold. A heart so unique that even I was jealous. He loved his pack, loved everyone in it and tried his best to make them feel Loved.

"For the time I knew him he proved to be a great person. He would make sacrifices for the people he loved and he wouldn't think twice about doing it. Yes, I may have not known him for long but he loved everyone so if he was here, if he was here I'm sure he'd say, he'd do it over and over again. He'd let his soul go for the people he loves because when he does he loves so greatly.

It's okay to mourn, to cry, to let the grief out. It's really okay, I absolutely get it. But whatever did happen, I'm glad the moon goddess gave us a soul so pure, so heartfull and amazing. Someone who we could rely on and trust. Someone who was just so wonderful. It doesn't make sense, to cry and be proud at the same time but I'm sure wherever he is, he's happy. He's okay. In peace with the goddess. I'm almost sure he's watching, smiling at all of us, yet sad we are all crying for him. Who knows maybe someday we will meet and relive this day and smile and not cry.

May his really amazing soul rest in peace. May we meet again." I whispered, my voice finally fading out.

I place the White rose on his coffin, walking away from the gathered crowd. I could almost feel  new waves of tears ready to burst through my eyes. It hurts so much. It felt as if a part of me was being clawed out with no mercy at all.