How High?

Ethan

Oo-hoo. Look who finally said a swear word. God forbid she actually spoke her mind every once in a while. She got annoyed by my ball, she got really mad about mobile plans, and now she's freaking out about being in here, but she has barely made a peep about any of them and doesn't tend to elaborate on her feelings. Not my style.

Like, why can't people say why they don't like something and just own it? I get that sharing your feelings can be hard, believe me, but these aren't really feelings, they're just...explanations.

I don't know why she was so edgy around me. I don't think I'm that intimidating. I've been pretty pleasant and personable, if I do say so myself, and I've tried to make her feel more comfortable but she just would not settle. I don't know if I was doing something to scare her or if she was one of those girls that's easily unnerved by guys or if it's my large following. Or maybe it's my muscles, I'm pretty ripped. My body usually attracts the ladies, though, not scare them.

I made the executive decision to simply ask her and practice what I preach about being upfront, even if I suspected I wouldn't get a straight answer out of her.

'Do I scare you?'

She lifted her face up and frowned at the wall ahead of her. 'No.' Her voice was light and simple.

'Are you sure? Cause you can't even look at me when you say that.'

Bella bit her lip and turned her head my way. 'I'm not scared of you.'

'Then, what are you scared of?'

She went back to looking at her lap and paused for a beat. When she spoke, she sounded so small that I barely heard her. 'I'm not scared, I'm just not really sure what to do with myself.'

'Okay,' I started, treading lightly on this uncharted land. I'd finally gotten a few sentences out of her and I wanted more, but I didn't want to push my luck, so my next words had to be just right. 'What do you mean by that?'

'I'm not a delicate little flower, Ethan, you don't have to act like I'm either going to chew your hand off or burst into tears.' She rolled her eyes at me. The girl rolled her eyes at me.

'Alright, I was just trying to be gentle.' I felt like that was the realest she'd been with me in the hour we'd been in here, and it was only a fucking sentence. I was finally getting a hint of what her true personality was like, and I'd be an idiot to waste that. 'Tell me what you were talking about when you said that you didn't know what to do with yourself, then, since you're so bold.'

'I just meant that this is new to me. I've never been trapped in an elevator before, believe it or not, and I've never been in such close confinements with a guy before, much less someone like you.'

Wait, wait, wait. Now hold on one minute. Did she just inadvertently tell me that she was a virgin? Or did she mean that...she'd never been in a small box with a guy...? That sentence majorly threw me off.

'Someone like me?' I asked, avoiding the virgin thing but metaphorically sliding that one into my back pocket for later.

'You know, a semi-famous person.'

'Oh. Got you.'

What do I say now?

The conversation had come to an unspoken close but I kind of actually wanted to keep talking to her. It's not like I had much else to do.

'Do you live here?'

Do you live here? What sort of question is that?

'Um, yeah. I've been out here for a year.'

'Oh, cool. Where are you from?'

'Florida.'

'Florida. That's cool. I'm from New Jersey.'

'Yeah, I, uh...' she softly laughed 'I watch your videos, so I know a little about you.'

'Oh. I'm so stupid, my bad.'

Yee-ouch. I'm bombing this.

She awkwardly clicked her tongue and nodded her head.

Oh, fuck it.

I pulled up a movie I'd downloaded and started watching it, giving up on a conversation with Bella. I felt like I was trying to draw blood from a stone. But more than that, I felt like I became a blubbering idiot when I attempted to get to know her, asking boring questions and saying stupid stuff. I made things super awkward and that was supposed to be her job, so I left her to it.

'What're you watching?' she asked, glancing over at me.

'A movie.'

A movie? I'm high. That's the only explanation; I must be high.

'Which movie?'

'It's called "Just Go With It".'

'I love that one. Do you mind if I watched with you?'

I stared at her with my lips parted. 'Uh, sure.'

She thanked me and scooted over to my side of the elevator. It felt like I was coaxing some sort of endangered animal over to me with food or something, I was trying not to make any sudden movements in case she got skittish and galloped away. But she didn't. She stayed right next to me and gave me a cutesy smile when she noticed me not concentrating on the screen.

'Everything okay?'

'Uh-hu.'

Everything was great.