If You Are Anything Like Me

12: Suspicion? Wanting To Believe It's Not True

#IYAALM12: Suspicion? Wanting To Believe It's Not True

✿ ♥ ✿

❝ If you are anything like me
Suspicious of someone,
Wary of the whispers,
Careful of the words,
Darling, I hope you know it's not because I'm not trusting you...
It's because I just wanted to believe that it's not true.❞

✿ ♥ ✿

"ZIA, I'll have dinner with some business partners tonight with CK. And there will be a small event, CK volunteered in, I would join her as the company's representative. I won't be able to pick you up, I'm so sorry, Love." Iyon ang bungad sa akin ni Killian nang sagutin ko ang tawag n'ya. I chuckled at him, and nodded.

"Don't worry. H'wag masyado magpakapagod ha?" paalala ko na lang. Afternoon break namin kaya nandito ako sa emergency stairs. Kinausap n'ya pa ako nang matagal dahil miss na miss n'ya na raw ako kaagad, eh, magkasama lang naman kami kaninang lunch.

He fetched me to have a lunch with him, Carol was there too because we saw her at the restaurant. Although, still a little conscious and uncomfortable around her, I still tried to get along with her. I didn't know what was with me, but the walls I have when she was around was just so high. I didn't intend it to be like that, but I just had it.

Sobrang nakakahiya kay Killian kasi pakiramdam ko hindi ko man lang marespeto na matagal na silang magkakilala ni Carol at magkababata pa dahil sa mga kinikilos ko. It was just hard to explain. I couldn't feel comfortable around her, all the insecurities that I thought I had buried deeply, suddenly felt shallow. It was just unsettling.

Idadag mo pa 'yung tipong sobrang close nila. There was some kind of connection. They understand each other well. Sobrang sensitive ko na siguro at pati 'yung mga simpleng usapan at tawa binibigyan ko ng malisya.

Killian was attentive with me, and tried so hard to make me get along with Carol. Ako 'yung parang tangang hindi mapakali, at hindi magawa-gawang gawin ang bagay na 'yun.

I just told them not to mind me, that I was just really a quiet person. Killian just held my hand under the table. Pero sa totoo lang? Kahit sa akin nakahawak si Killian? Pakiramdam ko mas konektado pa rin sila ni Carol. The girl just knew Killian instinctively. Sabagay, ano bang laban ng kaunting taon sa haba ng panahon na magkasama sila?

They laughed together with some kind of humour that I didn't get. Carol would give Killian something like she knew that Killian would spill his wine, and how Killian knew Carol preferred this and that. Para akong outsider. Pero kinimkim ko na lang. Kasi ako naman 'yung inalok ng kasal. Pinaparamdam din naman ni Killian na ako talaga ang gusto n'ya. Praning lang yata talaga ako kaya pati mga simpleng bagay binibigyan ko ng malisya.

"Z, susunduin ka ni Killian?" Napalingon ako mula sa pinto at nakita si Georgina ro'n. Kaagad akong napatayo sa hagdan at inayos ang palda. I shook my head lightly, and sighed because of the things that I was thinking about earlier. I must have been out of my mind for a second. Overthinking wasn't good in a relationship.

"Sakto maaga ang labas natin mamaya. Gusto mo sumama? Pupunta kasi akong charity event." Nakangiting paanyaya nito, kaya napakunot-noo ako. "Ah, they wanted a pianist. Wala akong kilala eh, pero nabanggit mo dati na marunong ka. Baka pwede ka pumunta?" Mahabang paliwanag nito. I chuckled. Sobrang ingat na ingat magpaalam eh.

"Sure," I answered with a beam.

"Seriously?" Nanlalaki ang mga mata n'ya na para bang hindi s'ya makapaniwala at nanaginip. Napailing-iling ako sa kanya tapos naglakad papunta sa table ko, sumama s'ya sa akin mukhang batang excited.