Baby Blue ✧ Rules (Euphoria)

5th Chapter

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5th Chapter
In which a friend's home becomes a sanctuary for a lost soul.

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"Fez! Open the hell up!"

I raise my fists and repeatedly slam them against the metal door of my friends home, which rattles and shakes so loudly that I wonder how the neighbors haven't complained yet.

"I need to talk to you! I'm not fucking around!"

This morning when Jules went out to get breakfast from the bakery, I kind of panicked.

I was standing by the window and watched her cycle down the street, her baby blue hair blowing in the wind and her violet skirt fluttering as she hit the pedals.

And then suddenly, the moment she moved out of sight something inside me snapped.

It has happened to me a couple times before. From one second to the other, everything goes dark and I feel lonely, like nobody's ever going to love me. Or understand me.

I've experienced it when my Dad died and again, a few months later, when I woke up at the hospital after my OD with my Mother sleeping next to my bed. Sometimes it overtakes me when I don't know how to deal with something or when I'm overwhelmed. I can't control it.

And believe me, I've tried.

So when I stood there, staring down at the empty road, I remembered once more what Jules had said to me last night.

You look like you're in love.

When this thought entered my brain, my heart started racing, my palms got sweaty and I couldn't feel my face. It was like my body went numb but my lungs felt like they were going to collapse and I just knew I needed air.

The next thing that's clearly in my head is that I was half-running, half-falling down the steps of Jules front porch and now here I am, pounding on my best friend's slash dealer's door which means that I must have walked all the way to the outskirts of town without even realizing it.

"Fuck! Fez, I ain't playing!"

I'm about to give up and honestly consider just curling up in front of his house and crying for a couple of minutes when I finally hear someone move around inside.

Seconds later a very tired and annoyed looking Fezco appears in front of me, his hands in the pockets of his wrinkled sweatpants. It occurs to me that I might have just woken him up.

"For fucks sake, Rue, you can't be here, yelling like that." He sighs, looking left and right but there's nobody around and I nod quickly, trying not let show how relived I am to see him. "What do you want? I thought you wouldn't be coming around for another two or three days."

"I thought so, too. But this is an emergency." I explain and squeeze past him into the room before he can stop me.

Immediately the strong smell of weed comes to my nose and I spot a half a joint on the couch table. Following my instincts I quickly fish it out of the ashtray and relight with a match from my pocket, inhaling deeply as the smoke fills my lungs.