Random and Strange Stories

A Modern Masterpiece

"Blorp," Harry wheezed. Gwen laughed flirtatiously, but there was no life in her eyes. There never was.

Peter wiggled over to the wall and started climbing it, using his webs. The other two noticed and squatted in a circle, even though there were only two of them.

"Spider-mna. Spider-mna." They chanted with feeling, still squatting but now also bouncing around.

They were all filled with helium (except for Peter who was full of bauxite) and floated up to join their leader on the ceiling.

Suddenly, Tony crab walked into the room while balancing a happy meal on his stomach. "Borger," he said calmly.

Peter wanted to eat a Batman birthday cake. "Borger?" he questioned, already calling the Batman cake delivery service.

Tony frowned and turned into a fly, except for his head. "Borger!" He buzzed maliciously.

Harry, who couldn't handle the pressures of society, shrieked and faceplanted onto the floor, filled now with vibranium instead of balloon juice so he crashed all the way to the basement where Tony kept his Trix safe from the rabbit.

"Run!" Peter shouted to Gwen who started exhaling as fast as she could, propelling herself out the window. She went to join Hiccup and Toothless, her true dragon-family. Her dramily.

It was time for the epic battle at last. Peter crinkled his way down to where Tony crouched waiting (as a man- an Iron Man) like tissue paper in a soft breeze.

It was a legendary battle, both opponents equally depressed, so they took breaks every once and a while to go cry. Finally, on the 53rd day, Tony tore his arc reactor from his chest.

"Borger," he sobbed, looking at his son with a steely look. Literally steely, because he still had his mask on and iron is like steel.

Peter couldn't handle the responsibility of this but he knew what he had to do. He took the happy meal that was still balanced on Tony's stomach from 53 days ago and shoved the burger through the hole in Tony's chest. Tony sang the entirety of Hamilton before reaching his full potential. But he did not want to fight.

"I do not want to fight," he said, because he did not want to fight.

Peter was surprised that he did not want to fight but was also glad that he did not want to fight. Tony, with his newly found powers of spinjitsu, would have easily annihilated him.

"Borger," Tony said for the last time, spinning off to master wu.

"Borger," Peter called in farewell. He (hee) looked off into the distance where he finally saw the Batman cake delivery guy coming towards him. Life was good.

That is, until the fire nation attacked.

ROLL CREDITS

Mid credit scene:
Harry was still trapped in the basement with the Trix after 53 days. He and the rabbit joined forces to stay alive, because Harry was not a kid so he could not partake of the cereal.

With a knife in his hand and malice in his eyes, he turned towards the final kid.

"Silly kid, Trix are for goblins."

Dun dun dun~

"This is my origin story. Beware!"

ROLL MORE CREDITS BUT THIS TIME THEY ARE JUST BLACK AND WHITE AND BORING

Post credit scene:
The green goblin frolicked in the midst of his Trixter Wonderland. He had already killed off the rabbit. But his relatives came to avenge him.

Steve Roger Rabbit burst through the door with his bro Bucky Bunny. They were both mad, but Bucki even more so.

Your reign of terror has come to an end, greenie! Bocky telepathically said directly into Harry's head because he was silent and lazy. You can tell he said it telepathically because there are no quotations.

Bucly Bunny put all of the 8 infinity stones (which we all know are faith, define nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue) into his metal paw and snapped, even without opposable thumbs. They were also not opposable thumbs, because no one could defeat them because they did not exist.

Harry yeeted out of existence, just like Loki in infinity war.

STEVE ROGER RABBIT AND BUCKV BUNNY WILL RETURN