𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑼𝑵𝑨ꨄ

𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂

Standing at the other end of the, just as I was about to knock the adrenaline rushed in, my blood running cold, shivers crawling up my spine, the memory I wished to forget flashing through my thoughts again and again, freezing me in my place.

Should I really tell hyung?

Won't he think I am losing my mind?

Is this really okay?

A moment passes as I was lost in thoughts, I was conscious that I was slipping deeper into some thing toxic, something venomous, but to lost to care. Tears filled up the brim op my eyes. That's when I dismissed the poison that would potentially spread out through me, causing me to shatter like fragile possessions, once broken they cannot be mend. He couldn't cry anymore, he had done so too much, in the recent past and in the distant. He was done leaning on people.

It was my brothers turn to use my shoulders when he cried.

It's my job to be his voice until I die.

He had done enough for me. I want to be his pillar of support.

I softly knocked on the door when I heard no response I opened up and entered the room, sunlight peeping through the curtains, lighting up a bit of the room, I place the food on the cream hued nightstand. I sigh. Sitting beside my brother I slowly take the blanket of his face seeing his eyes flutter in his sleep probably because of sunlight shining directly on his face. I place the back of my hand against his forehead checking for any fevers or high temperature, once again I sighed, I should've checked hyungs condition before preparing his 'meal'. Deciding that I would eat the sandwich, I ordered soup, since we...I can't cook. About half an hour later the door bell rings, I check to see the delivery guy standing outside, paying and taking in the soup I am standing in front of Taehyung's door once again. I enter without a knock placing the soup down, now finally waking him up. After many attempts of softly shaking him only for it to be futile, I grab him and sit him up against the bed, the sudden movement jolting him awake. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have been so harsh. So cruel, after what he had just witnessed. The glint in his eyes had made he pain and fear that he felt as the result of the action evident. How I wish I would've been gentler.

I follow my instincts as I rap my hands around him, feeling him lean into my touch, whispering soft apologies and comforting words, his stiff body completely relaxing, he looked up at me his lips turning to a soft smile which was quickly replaced by a soft giggle. The thought of my dream was long gone. What had only been a day had felt like ages. As if I hadn't heard his laughter, seen his smile in so long hadn't heard his deep voice in years. In just a second his giggles had turned to laughter, I look down at him confusion evident on my features, had I seemed to missed what was funny? His laugh turned soft and as I looked closer tears glazed over his eyes,I thought what he had witnessed was getting to him again. But no. His smile said otherwise. A soft smile over his delicate face, His tears still visible, some as if they were ready to spill. But the look on his faced showed nothing but some sort of relief. He looked content. Or rather. He was content.

"Aishh...look at you Joon, the baby that was once scared of showing his emotions is the same as the one hugging me, telling me it is going to be okay" His eyes softly closed, the smile on his face still visible. Silence filled he room, a comfortable silence, causing my expression to soften. Relief taking over my face. The silence was soon broken "You really have grown up haven't you". I sat him up and gave him the food making sure it wasn't too hot or too cold "Joonie won't you feed me?" He asked mockingly knowing that in no way I would agree. I sighed at my hyungs childish behaviour. Shaking my head as he laughed. It wasn't long ago when my thing was crying at the door step ringing the doorbell repeatedly, asking me, begging me to believe him. Reality flashed through my eyes, the images of my dream, my hyung crying, me breaking down. It struck me out from my imaginary dreamland. I felt panic rush it's way to my face, my hands dropping to my sides, glancing at my hyungs worried expression which soon turned into distress. I knew he understood too. But what he hadn't known was that it was far more complex. That it was tearing them both apart.

"Hyung...you should eat"
fear crawling it's way up my spine
"I...have to tell you..something" He whispered

By the look of Taehyungs face he seemed to understand, he did as he was asked slowly taking a sip of the soup blowing on it to cool before it touched his lips. Not long after the few words were spoken, the thick silence was broken the sound of a bowl being place on a marble nightstand. I look to see my hyung giving me a hesitant look, gathering my thoughts I finally open my mouth to say what I had to, what I needed to.

"Hyung the things you experienced, how you saw mom and dad...I saw it to but in a dream. A dream that is too clear to be a dream. To real to be a dream"

|𝐒𝐞𝐨-𝐚𝐡|
𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑣𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖 𝑎𝑚 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔~💜