Lions ~~~ An Adopted by Skillet Fic (COMPLETE)

Madness in Me

🚨TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE🚨

Well, it turns out that the tour with for KING and COUNTRY and Anthem Lights didn't start until August, although the bands would be having weekly meetings here until then.

As Alex and I ascended from our basement House Hunters binge, we found John standing in the entrance next to a bunch of guys. That's how I found out about these meetings.

A few tiny kids were running around, and when they noticed Alex and ran over, the men in the entry finally saw us.

"Alex! Aria! You remember Joel and Luke right?" John asked, pointing to the two in question.

Alex said a chirpy greeting, and all I could manage was a small wave as John introduced us to Caleb, Chad, Joey, and Spencer of Anthem Lights.

"It's nice to meet you," Joel had said once everyone knew my name.

"You-you as well," I mumbled. The kids, who I learned were Jude, Phoenix, and Emmett continued to run into the living room. Caleb and Luke both had baby carriers, holding babies named Leo and Beckett. Apparently, Alex, Xavier and I would be babysitting these kiddos tonight. 

The doorbell rang one more time and John opened it to reveal Seth. He waved, and with that, I slipped out of the room to go hide in my own room.

🚨In my mind's eye, all I could see were those men ganging up on me and doing stuff to hurt me. I know they wouldn't, they were all godly men. But... something in my brain told me otherwise. And I couldn't tell it otherwise. 

I collapsed into bed, shaking and trying to hold back tears. I reached for Scratch, holding him close to my chest. I struggled to grab the blanket, but once I did I snatched it up so that it covered my body. Unfortunately, it was snagged under something, so when I tugged it let go suddenly and I punched myself in the face. That only made the tears come out quicker, and I turned under the blanket and covered my face.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it up, trembling, to see a message from Alex.

Alex: You okay? 

I thought about telling her for a moment. She was watching 5 kids. She needed to focus on them, not on me. 

Me: I'll be fine. You and Xavier focus on the kids. I'll be out in a little bit.

She didn't respond. I didn't plan on coming out, not until Korey was home. She left a few hours ago for girl's night with Jen and the wives of the men downstairs. They wouldn't be back until later. I knew it. I just clutched Scratch until I passed out from exhaustion. 🚨

The next morning was a hard one. I awoke under the covers still, sweating. I gently peeled off the blanket, groaning. I looked to see a towel on my dresser and grabbed it, along with some clothes for the day, before leaving my room to go shower. 

When I saw myself in the mirror I cringed. The attack had exhausted me, but it was one of the better ones I had had in a very long time. My hair was stuck up in places I didn't know it could be stuck up at, and my face was puffy and flushed. My eyes were bloodshot, and one had a bruise forming under it. The other had red streaks going through it, I had burst a vessel or two.

I started the shower and turned the water up enough that it would steam. As soon as I stepped in, I felt the water burn into my skin. It comforted me. I took my time, and when I came out my entire body was red. I got dressed and found my way back into my room.

"Aria? Are you up?" My shoulders scrunched as I rushed into my room. It was John. I really didn't want to talk to him. I tossed my dirty clothes into the hamper and dove under the covers. Just as I pulled the blanket over my head the door creaked open. 

"Aria?" I tried to breathe like I would if I was sleeping and listened for the door to click. Once it did again, I slowly pulled the covers off, pulling my phone out. 

About an hour later I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I mumbled. Korey came in and sat on my bed.

"Are you okay honey? Your eye is bruised," Korey asked, leaning forward.

"I was pulling my blanket up and accidentally punched myself in the face," I said, smiling at her. It was the truth, so I had no worry about her thinking otherwise.

"Why is your other eye bloodshot?" Her voice was quiet.

I hesitated. I knew that my profile on the adoption website mentioned I had PTSD, but I don't think Korey or John remembered that.

"I had a panic attack last night," I mumbled.

She nodded, "Do you know what caused it?"

I sighed, "All the guys coming over at once... Guys are... a big trigger for me. Especially older guys."

"Is that why you've been avoiding John?"

I nodded. I was beginning to have trouble talking.

Korey sighed, "Can I talk to John about this? We had a party planned for you today since it's your birthday, but I don't want to overwhelm you."

I smiled, they actually care.

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Awesome. C'mon, we have breakfast for you. John made pancakes with candles in them."

"Aww yeah!"