I know that I should feel sad
I know I should be full of emotions
Dread, sadness and even anger
But I don't
Instead, I feel emotionless
...empty
*** was someone I need
not the real one
but the one that I had made up a whole persona about
he was perfect
perfect
perfect
In fact, what really attracted me to him in the first place was...
looks
I didn't even know him well
well I did know the useless stuff, like his favourite colour, age and stuff
But I didn't know him well enough, I didn't know about the stuff that mattered
..truly mattered
while the old me wouldn't have cared
but I hope I care now
I imagined him into my dream boy
I held onto that 'image' of him
watching him now.. without the infatuation.. shows me that he's just a normal boy
with flaws
..just a boy
I said that I felt emotionless
but I do feel one emotion
...regret
regret that I spent all my extra time thinking of him
..regret that I worried about every single thing I did around him
..regret that my whole world revolved around his
I guess now, I'm distancing myself from all my guy friends
worried that I would make the same mistake again
cause I don't need boys
I'm smart and independent, I don't need them
But need and want aren't the same things...
:(
