Broken Without You

Slowly breaking

One sheep, two sheep, why do we count sheep? Why not cats or... mice? Why are mice afraid of cats? Is it because cats are bigger than mice? Then why are elephants afraid of mice, when elephants are so much bigger than both cats and mice?
The voices inside Lizzie's head were awfully chatty. Chattier than usual. 
You see when one is left alone in complete isolation for long enough, they start to question their own sanity. Lizzie found that it was easier to keep her mind occupied, It stopped the feeling of loneliness from setting in. 

Time had begun to dissolve into itself, Lizzie had so much time. She sat, her pale, tear-stained face gazing into the darkness. She dreaded her father's return. In the end, it wasn't dying that scared Lizzie, but pain. If she didn't wake up in the morning she would know nothing of it. 

Lizzie was leaning forwards against a dusty wall, feet pushed far back, carefully drooling, seeing how far the spit could dangle without breaking.
Time flowed like cement. Lizzie checked the clock on the wall. A minute had passed since she last checked an hour ago, or so it seemed. Sitting there with nothing to stare at but a wall with chipped cream paint. Lizzie began to drift into an unpleasant daydream or was it a paranoid fantasy? So hard to tell and she didn't care. It helped to pass the time.
The room felt emptier than a crypt. She couldn't just sit there, Watching the chipped walls. She needed to see real people, talk and laugh. She yearned to hear their stories and jokes.

That's when she heard the sound of Nathan laughing and her heart sank right through her skin onto the cold cement floor she had slept on. Hallucinations.
The problem with her hallucinations was their unpredictability. Lizzie felt like she'd stand more of a chance if they were always the same thing showing up at the same time of day. Her mind, however, was far more creative - Nathan could show up at any time and do anything.

                                                         -  =  +  =  -

Her hallucinations were getting progressively less amusing. As the sat, bored, she looked up to see Nathans corpse hanging by a noose.
Her bottom lip quivered, her shoulders shaking with grief, salty tears were dripping into her mouth. She sobbed into her hands.
When she cried there was a rawness to it, Her whole body would shake. She attempted to hide the tears, then overcome by the wave of his emotions she would break down entirely.

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. Perhaps these tears would help wash the blood out of her clothes. She pressed her head against the wall.
A week ago, Lizzie wouldn't have been able to understand why someone would want to cry. But now, alone in the darkness, it was easy.

                                                        - = + = -

"Goodness, Dolly, I've been looking for you all day, Where on earth have you been?" It was her father. He laughed manically, He had an odd sort of spluttering laugh yet it was cruel mocking "Oh, I'm just kidding, You're locked in my basement" he cackled as if Lizzie wasn't already aware.
"Oh, Anyway dolly, I would like to introduce you to my friend" Behind him sat a small, metal figure. It looked somewhat like a toddler although its face was all distorted and it's tiny body looked like it had been twisted at the waist but no matter how contorted it looked, Lizzie knew what it was there for. The robot slowly crept closer. She closed her eyes hesitantly and waited for it to be over. 

The torture begins. But you'll never know when it ends. It was his addiction. A psychopath. A murderer. A torturer.

Lizzie knew it was coming but knowing doesn't soften the blow. She felt her bones split into an untold number of fragments.
It was so painful, like someone reaching inside her and pulling her guts out with their bare hands. It was like being ripped apart. Unbearable. The feeling was so intense that she was begging for someone to just shoot her. It was like a knife being twisted in her spine. It shot up fast, erasing every thought from her head and paralyzing her body.

Blood was slowly oozing out of numerous wounds in her face and arms.
Lizzie hissed in pain. She grieved for the loss of life. She bit her lip to keep from crying out. Sharp pain lanced through her head and colourful spots flashed in front of her eyes, it felt like her whole body had been beaten and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache.

Every ounce of her wished that she could to swing her body off the top of a building or walk deep into the depths of the ocean and stay down under. To take a gun and place the cool metal down her throat, pulling the trigger, shooting away the pain.

'I deserve what's happening to me' Lizzie cried to herself.