PINOE'S BLUE SKY

CHAP 17: MY SKY AND MY PRIDE

No more army, I quit. I decided to enlist because I lost Sky and lost my mind too. Because of struggling to find anything else that was meaningful enough to keep me breathing, I decided to go die on the other field. However, now when Skylar was back with me, I immediately dropped that immature thought. I love my country, however will love it in different ways.

No more soccer either, because are you fucking kidding me? I couldn't just say I wanted to do it again after asking my coach to put me off the roster. That's just not right and unprofessional.

And also, I didn't also quit the National Team, I quitted Reign as well. And if you're asking about the fine of suddenly breaking contract, I would have to pay for it soon, not now, but very soon, and after that, I could possibly go bankrupted. Who knows?

But no, I wasn't crazy, I just knew that I couldn't do it anymore and I still think I did the right thing at the time. Without Sky, I had no energy, I had no motivation, I had no time to focus on practice because most of my time I would use to look for her instead. I lost the track of life, I made everything around me become a mess, because I simply didn't give a fuck about anything anymore, and not even myself.

But it's ok though. Retirement wasn't all that bad. I was a bit sad to say goodbye but I mean Abby Wambach and others have been retired and they are having the perfect life in their own way. Being an athlete, I've already mentally prepared that I could never do this job until I'm walking with a single point stick. Although it came a few years earlier than what I've expected, I was totally cool with that. I had my Sky, you know. I wouldn't wanna trade her for anything else in the world, and because she's the most important thing in my life, having here with me would always be more than enough, more than perfect. I was so blessed with my life right now. I would miss soccer so much, but I would always have it in my heart forever.

When I was about to put a burger in my mouth to have a big bite, Skylar immediately jumped out of no where and slapped it off of my hands.

-          What are you doing?! – she yelled.

-          Having breakfast. – I said, still didn't understand what was going on.

Caught a piece of bacon dropped out of the burger, I was going to pick it up to put in my mouth but my hand got a highly precise slap from Sky instead.

-          Did you work out this morning?

I shook my head.

-          Well, because you chose to sleep in. – I made up an excuse to pass it this time.

-          You should have gone by yourself, Rapinoe.

I know right? I should have. But what for?

I woke up this morning just like a robot which had been installed to be awake at this exact time every day. However, while being in a rush for a morning work-out, a reality instantly hit me in the back of my head as I just realized "Megan Rapinoe, you're retired. You don't need to stress about this anymore." Then I laid down next to love of my life, cuddled into her and closed my eyes to sleep in.

-          Skylar, I don't need to do that anymore. I'm retired.

-          But did you announce to the world? – she asked.

I shook my head.

-          Not yet, but very soon.

As I tried to pick up my burger once again, Skylar pulled the dish far away, out of my reach.

-          Megan, you don't need to. You are not ready for retirement, and you know that.

-          But I can't just act like a child, one day said I quitted and the other day awanted to be back. One is a fucking National Team. The other one is a fucking career that I'm supposed to show my respect rather than stepping away with only giving them a few words "sorry, I cant do it anymore. Soccer means nothing to me right now." I cant do that, Skylar.