𝟐𝟔 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ┊ ʲⁱʳᵒˢᵉ

26

it was the last time...

i know you're probably reading all these twenty-six letters by the time that i'm lying in the emergency room, or maybe by the time that i had already stopped breathing.

i wish i could say i was just kidding, but i'd be lying if i said that.

i just wanted to tell you that i loved you. and until now, i still do. i'll miss every hour, minute, and second i spent with you, although i only wish it lasted longer.

and i'll miss every inch of you; those eyes that shine the brightest even in the darkest places, your perfume that smells like fresh lavender, that dreamy smile that everyone desires to see, and your lips that taste like sweet berries.

i've always wanted to keep those to myself, but it's too bad someone had already taken you from my grasp.

my friend himself told me that you started seeing him just a few days after you two first met in the café. he told me he was going to suppress his feelings, but he couldn't help it. he even cried in front of me while apologizing.

it was hard, but i forgave him. i couldn't leave the world holding grudges to a very close friend of mine.

i should be happy for both of you, but i just can't. i can't force myself to lie and pretend to be happy for your relationship when in reality, i'm dying inside (and literally outside).

but i told myself it's okay, as long as you're happy,

even though i'm not.

but don't worry, maybe someday up there, i'll be able to accept everything and i'll be genuinely smiling while watching both of you happily in each others' arms.

if you feel sorry for whatever you did to me these past few weeks, i forgive you. i really do. i don't want you to spend your nights thinking and regretting everything you did for the rest of your life.

i just want you to be genuinely happy in anything you do, and in the arms of someone who loves you the same way i do.

i always liked firsts, but i'm afraid this has come to an end.

i love you, park chaeyoung,
forever and always i will.

it was the last time i said i love you.

—

END.

it's for you to decide what happens next :)