Daydreaming Nightmares || A. Knight

Indigo Afternoons

{chapter 3; Indigo Afternoons}

A week had passed since his encounter with her, and Awsten had stayed in bed for the majority of that time. Geoff and Otto had decided that it was best for him if he was left alone to recover, something Awsten was glad about, but he couldn't help but feel the loneliness building up inside of him. He had never  felt this helpless in his life, it was as if he wasn't even in control of his own body.

Soon enough, he developed a schedule, one that didn't let him sleep, substituting it for tossing and turning until early hours of the morning. Sometimes he would give up and  watch The Office, but he failed to see its humor as he did before.

Every last molecule of positivity was gone, from his aching body, to his dim and empty household. Even his Twitter hadn't been updated in a while, and normally he couldn't tear himself from the app.

There were days that his mind was a flurry of song ideas - titles, lyrics, verses, riffs - but also times there wasn't a bone in his body that wanted to be creative - he didn't even want to get out of bed.

He knew he had to tour soon, that the label would get pissed off of they found out he hasn't even set foot in the studio for a month. But how could he concentrate on music, when most days his mind takes him to places he thought he'd never go - places where there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel. He couldn't even dig for positivity, it didn't exist in his world anymore.

Everything that once was yellow faded to green and then to blue. There were no longer traces of her in his apartment, which also meant everything that he once took pride in disappeared.

She was his rock, his world - he orbited around her. But just like the sun, she orbited around herself, but in way that you'd pity her. She was always going on about her 'disorders' and 'conditions', she had so many that she could bore you to sleep with the names of them alone. They were self-diagnosed, obviously - most people failed to believe that they even existed. Awsten didn't find it correct - how she made herself a victim to the 'sicknesses' when he thought that she could easily turn them into advantages. But she had him wrapped around her finger, and he didn't want to let her down.

He reflected on their relationship often, pondering whether she made him a better person, or just lead him on to think that he could never get better than her. It hurt to think of her, but she was the main reason he was feeling this way, and he felt he had to address the situation in his mind to start feeling at least a touch better.

Awsten was surprised when he heard the doorbell go off, he knew the boys were doing a photoshoot that he was going to have to recuperate later. Otto covered for him saying that he had come down with the flu - or something along the lines of that. Groaning as he stood up to open the door, as he didn't have a window to peek through and see who it was.

He was surprised to see a complete stranger at the door, or at least he thought he didn't know him, his memory of anything before the breakup was a blur.

"Is this Awsten?" Asked the tall man abruptly.

"Sure. What are you doing here?" he returned the rudeness as he placed the blonde man's face, "if she sent you, I'm going to slam the door in your face, nicely, not like she did-"

"Cia-" the man cut off, only to be cut off himself. He sighed as he was faced with a wooden door. He should've taken a different approach, like threatening the blue boy. She still wasn't over with him, and her plans showed the darker side of her.

The side Awsten had always failed to see, pushing it away.

Love is blind, deaf, and fucking dumb

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I'll be putting references in every chapter from now on, let's see how much you guys know your bands!

If I do say so myself, this one was pretty easy.