Living and Running

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She grabs her bag, all packed full of clothes. Looking around her room, memories flood her head. Her sister and her, talking, playing games, her boyfriend coming to visit, friends sleeping over. So many good things have come from this place. But so many bad things as well. She grabs another backpack and starts filling in with other necessities, like deoderant. Then looks at the various knick-knacks on her dresser and desk. She throws a couple in there as well. Sneaking out of her room, she walks quietly, avoiding the squeaky floorboards. She practiced this moment so many times. Opening the door, she hesitates. 'Should I really do this?' she asks herself. After re-thinking it over for the fourteenth time since deciding it, she walks out her back door, locking her still sleeping family inside. Placing the key in the mailbox with a note explaining her absence, she walks away from the home causing her the pain she lives with daily. Tears run down her face as her siblings enter her mind. Their voices echoing in her head. "Why are you leaving us sissy?"

"Don't leave me..."

"Do you have to go?"

"Fine!! I won't miss you anyway!!"

"Are you sure you wanna go?" She pulls out her phone, plugging in her earbuds from her youngest brother from Christmas that year. It was late February, but still cold. She turns on the song she downloaded a few weeks ago. The familar beat and lyrics drowning out her family. She sets it on replay. The cold snow crunches under her feet, each step drawing her closer to uncertainty, and farther from saftey and pain. The tears are streaming now, hot against the cold night air. A sob leaves her throat as she stops. 'Did I make a mistake?!' she questions, looking back. She stops cold as she sees her mom and dad looking at her. They hold the note in their hands. Seeing them makes this that much harder. Her mom cover her mouth, shoulders shaking as her father stares at her coldly, holding her mother closely. He says something and her mom nods, entering the house once more. He starts for the girl and she turns and runs, tears falling all the while. Her heart pounds and her body screams for her to turn back. She looks behind her to see her father gave up chasing after her. She pulls out one earbud to hear him say one thing:

"Don't come back..." He turns and walks back towards her house. She falls to her knees and sobs, tears melting the ice and snow beneath her. He breath comes out in white whisps of air. Her cries fill the night. After a while of crying, her tears have dried. Her knees are soaked with melted snow and everything hurts with cold. She shakes from the decrease in temperature. Standing, she wobbles away from the spot she fell, heart cold as the night. Numbly, she walks. Never looking back.

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