Short Stories (based off of songs)

Busy... so.... busy...

There was a pang of hurt in his chest... he pretended like he didn't know why, but he did. He was alone. His friends had gone, the ones he really wanted to talk to anyways. He knew they were busy, that they had other things they needed or wanted to do, but that didn't make it hurt any less. The pain grew bigger and he closed his eyes, hoping it would leave. But it didn't.

Tears began to flow, streaming down his cheeks. He just wanted to talk with someone. But not just anyone. It wouldn't be the same.... He was working on a story with one friend, and the other he just wanted to laugh with. But they were both busy. Maybe he should just go to sleep or watch TV like he normally does. That wouldn't work, not this time. He was too depressed and awake to sleep.... He pretends he's okay with it, when really, he just wants attention. He wants someone to put away what they're doing and just talk to him. Even though.... he knows they won't. They're doing other things and talking to other people. They're too busy for him right now... So he sits there, waiting for someone to notice... to care. But they won't...

The want to talk dies down and the story becomes meaningless. Now he wants to push them away, make them hurt and feel bad for ignoring him. But that's toxic, so he says nothing. Still waiting... they only say something when they have something to share. He can't let on what he's feeling, that he's hurt. Finally, someone noticed only to abandon him again. He can't say anything. They're busy and it must be important. They knew he wasn't by feeling okay.

The pain grows again and a sob leaves, but what can he do? Nothing..... he'll leave them alone and cry in his room, everyone oblivious to him. No one cares, though they say they do. He doesn't want to be left alone, but it feels like he always is. He'll put off everything he can to make sure his friends know he's there and help them until they feel better, but it's like no one does the same for him. And the pain dies down. Maybe he should ignore them. Make them worry because he hasn't read any texts or answered any phone calls... he won't tell them if he's okay. They'll see him later and he won't say anything.

They're too busy to be his friend when he needs them... but he'll never be too busy when they need him... they can text 24/7, 365 and he'll answer as soon as he can, make sure they're okay and won't put them off until he knows for sure. But his friends... maybe.... they don't want him around anymore... but he doubts that. He just wishes they weren't so busy. Especially when he needs them.....

"Look, I'm happy!! See!!!! I'm sorry I'm always so upset!! I'm sorry I come to you for help when I'm feeling depressed!! I'm sorry I need your attention!! I'm sorry!!!! I'm sorry I express my feelings when I'm suicidal!! I'm sorry I don't listen when you're only trying to help!!!! But I'm happy now!!!! I'm permanently happy!!! I'll keep smiling for you!!! Even when I want to cry!! I'm happy!!! I'll handle this on my own!! You're busy anyways right?! You've got other things to do!!! People you need to talk to!!!!!!!!! So many other important things!! I'll sit on the back burner!! I'll wait!!!! I'll do my best not to boil over!!! I'll keep it all in!!!! I'll handle it all!!! I'll take the pain!!! I won't be sad!! That way you don't have to worry!!! And maybe.... just maybe..... you won't be too busy for me anymore.... because.... you don't have to burdened by my tears. My heart. I won't say anything when I'm breaking down, I promise I won't make a sound... then will you pay me attention? Will I become important too?"

The pain was back and stronger. They were still gone.... still too busy... but he didn't say anything. When they texted, he just laughed and went along with it.... even though he wanted to burst in tears and explain everything... he knew he couldn't. He couldn't be vulnerable.... they would disappear again.... he can be there for them.... but he can't let them be there for him... they say he's strong anyways, so why rely on anyone to fix his problems? If he keeps it inside.... maybe it'll fix itself.... and then everyone won't be busy.... he'll be important too... they'll pay him the attention he needs and wants....