Our freedom flew away

Epilogue

Cassandra Arizona Night point of view

The complete church is silent after Danielle's words about her mother. Everybody looks with tears in their eyes to the little girl standing in front of the church, talking to the microphone.

"I will miss mommy," she says and looks at me, her eyes filled with tears,"but momma told me that mommy is in heaven and looks at me. She'll keep me save. She'll stay in my heart. No matter what happens, good or bad." Tears stream down her face and all I can do to comfort her before it's my turn to talk about May is hug her tight and whisper that it's okay. Trudy does the rest. I feel guilty for not being able to help her, but this I have to ignore. The paper in my hands trembles a bit, but that's okay. Everything is okay. I keep telling myself everything is okay, while I know it isn't. If I was okay, I would be okay if May was here, but she isn't.

"May left a lot of people behind with a broken heart. Her family, her daughter, her friends and me. Three days ago, I found a box, under her hospital bed, when I was cleaning up her stuff. In the box lay eleven letters to persons she cared about and one letter to a person me and probably the most of you hate. It was a letter to her disease. She asked me in the letter she wrote to read this one out loud. Because she wanted it, I will read it. I'm sorry if any of you feel bad because of this." I take one deep breath and start reading. "Dear cancer, I wished I had never met you, and most of all that you wouldn't be the cause of my death, but it is, and I can't change a damn thing about it. Do you remember the first time I met you? I was about two and you were leaning over my shoulder, as a tiny little skeleton. You hugged me and showed me my future. You were the little devil that was always with me. Did you ever really leave me alone since that day? I don't think so. I've always felt your presence. I wasn't a normal kid; I couldn't go to parties and I didn't have many friends. The only friends I had, bared the same stigma as me; a kid with cancer. Nobody ever treated me normal, at least not normal people. Only people who fought alongside me made me feel normal, like I wasn't "that kid with cancer" I was May.' I stay silent for a little, drying the tears that are falling down my cheeks. My mother looks at me, her eyes filled with sadness and grief. I take a deep breath and continue. 'But, you've also given me so much things I would have missed. Without you, I'd never have met Cassandra, my other half. I'd never have given birth to Dan, my perfect daughter. At the end, you were more a friend to me than an enemy. Goodbye, leukemia. You've won.' As I go to my chair, I feel the glazes of the people stuck to me, but I ignore them. Danielle climbs on my lap and hugs me tight.

'Momma? Before she died, mommy asked me to tell you something,' she whispers. 'She wanted me to tell you that she loved you.'

Days pass by, weeks even and I keep fighting. The doctors tell me I'm getting better and Danielle seems to be able to cope with the loss of her mother. Even though she is so young, she helps me. It takes me three more years, but I can finally tell Danielle some good news.

This happens in November. Danielle's birthday has just passed, but I haven't given her a present yet. I wanted to wait for today. The doctors tell me that I am cancer free. Officially, healed and hopefully, for good. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know that I won't be in pain as much as I was before. It's likely that I'll fall back and get sick again, but at this stage, I can finally enjoy my life again. I don't have to think about the ghost following me around. I've faced it and it ran away, screaming.