Cora

CHAPTER 4: PRESENT

After dedicating my day to making lesson plans for my Environmental Course, I sit back in my desk chair listening to my stomach growl and realize that I forgot to eat. I look down at my feet where Jack is laying and he looks up at me, licking his lips.

"Are you as hungry as I am, Jack?" He lets out a slight bark and gets up. Taking that as a yes, I shut off my computer and head into the kitchen to make some dinner. Jack sits patiently next to me, watching me walk back and forth from the table to cut up vegetables for my salad, then back to the stove to watch the pasta cook and grill the chicken. I pick up a piece of cooked chicken with a fork and feed it to Jack.

I smile down at him, but let out a sigh, feeling the loneliness creep in.

When everything is ready, I set my plate on the table and pour myself a tall glass of White Zin. I fill Jack's bowl of food and put it next to me on the floor but toss some extra chicken over the top of it. We both sit and eat in silence while I alternate between taking a bite and taking a swig. I will admit that my drinking habits have grown considerably since the incident. But it's the only thing I have to numb the pain and suppress the memory.

As I take another bite of my food, my phone rings in my pocket. I take it out and my mother's number is displayed across the screen. Sighing, I pick up.

"Hi, mom," I put the phone up to my ear and drain the rest of my wine.

"Hello, sweetie. How are you feeling today?" The sympathy in her voices causes a sharp pang in my stomach. I feel a mix of irritation and sadness that she will not leave me alone, but also that she has to see me this way.

"I'm fine. You?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I'm doing okay...just fine... Have you visited Ben today?" At the sound of his name, my stomach wrenches and I look at my empty glass on the table. I reach for the bottle again and fill my glass to the brim.

"No." I fight back the tears and take another big gulp of my wine, feeling the alcohol course through my veins.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I know how hard all this is for you... can I do anything? Want me to make you another one of your favorite apple pies?" I know she is just trying to cheer me up, but the last apple pie she made me still sits in the fridge with one piece taken out of it. The piece she cut, but I later threw away. I shake my head.

"I'm fine Mom, thanks though. Um... was that the reason why you called?" I try to keep my voice light, clenching my teeth when I hear it is filled with impatience.

"I'm just checking up on you! Have you made an appointment with a psychologist yet?" I have been making up excuses as to why I had yet to make an appointment for two weeks. But, it doesn't help that she is constantly pestering me with questions.

"Um, about that... I've been thinking and I don't really have time for that. With teaching that online class soon and I still have to keep up on maintenance on the house and keep Jack busy..." I trail off, not believing she is going to take any of it as an excuse.

"Katherine. You have time. All you do is sit in that house and bottle yourself up. If you don't get out and at least talk to someone... you're going to explode! If you can't talk to me, then at least talk to someone else. Someone professional who knows how to deal with this type of stuff." I grip my hand over my stomach and immediately feel remorse.

"I'm fine, Mom. There's nothing to really talk about anyway. And I do get out. I go for a run with Jack every morning." I twirl my glass around on the table and then take another sip. Stop with the excuses Kat...