Our Hazel (Book 1) Completed.

Back to the beginning

I try to keep a happy face for Hazel as we enter the court room. She hold my hand tightly, like I was about to let go. But I didn't know yet.

Jared was there and the girl that fight me was there. And some people we didn't know. I was allow to bring other people. I didn't even know what was this about.

Me and Hazel sat down waiting. I tell her she should listen to music, but she push her glasses slowly and start observing what was going on. She was dressing in a yellow flower summer dress. I did cut her hair till it reach her shoulder. I braids them with two yellow scrunchies at the end. And she wear her brown boots.

My mind was all over the place. When Jared start his case I was shock "she won't even let me see my daughter, not responding to my text messages, I think I should get my daughter forever". What?.

Hazel look up at me, her Hazel eye memorizing my face, my daughter.

"I could give my daughter everything she wants" he say. Was that the Jared from during the summer?. The Jared from the beginning?.

The girl that fight me. I learn her name is Reisha, she was in bandages, she stand up "Me and Jared can raised her like our own, just like we're about to do with our other kids". So that's what's up?

I waited. Then it was my turn.

" My daughter is not going nowhere" I yelled then look at the judge "I was pregnant going through the worse difficulty, at a young age, Jared was not there, I do everything I could to raise my daughter, now it's when my daughter is grown that's when he want her, no my honor, my child stay with me". I couldn't believe Jared. Was this girl getting his head?.

We talk and talk. Then everything start beign blurry. Everything didn't feel normal.
We sat down waiting for results. Hazel was a sobbing messed. She had say earlier she wanted to stay with me, grandma and Nana, visiting her Dad.

But we will see who win?. Jared demand for the result to be done immediately. And they did.

And the judge say something I didn't think I heard him right.
"Jared and Reisha get to keep the child".

I stand up automatically "is it because he is famous?" I scream with rage " I can raise my daughter, I did it before, I will feed my daughter with all myself. With all I have. Beside I'm a lawyer and I work".

But no one was listening. Hazel was sobbing now shoulder bumping up and down.

"One thing my honor" Jared say his eye dark with malice "I don't her near my child at all".

What?.

And they grant that to him too. He got full custody of her. My daughter. Our daughter. Hazel.

I'm a sobering mess, Hazel didn't want to let go of me, she know that she would never see any of us again. As they pulled her away to her Dad. My heart break. And their was nothing I could do really. Jared give her cash after cash she still didn't stop crying. Jared hold her and leave with her still crying, still longing her hand to me "I love you Mommy" she scream.
" I love you more Hazel" I say in between sobs.

Tears burn my cheeks as I go outside. The cold night air flipping my hair back. My stomach burn with an eternal pain that would never be filled. I can guarantee on that.

I know this very well a lot people probably watching it on Facebook, debating Whether it was me or Jared that could keep that child. Hazel. that's our reality now.

When I should had been the one. I know the pain to stay with stepmom, and a stepmom like Reisha didn't look to good on Hazel record.

I walk at the sidewalk there was no one, except light and more light. Fresh new tears fell on the old ones. I feel so empty. I cry when I already had forget how Hazel sound when she called me, trying to remember her favorite color and her favorite hobby. When will pain be over for me?.

The night cold air.............

I hug my arm, for warmth as I keep walking thinking.

Everyone planner is filled with work schedule, and more works, or when the next party will be, while mine is all crumble up.

Now you might say 'you will be okay'. I know I won't be. I bear that child and when a pain hit her, it hit me more than anyone could ever know, or guess.

I didn't want to be okay without Hazel.

It's not like she's dead? You might say.

But that's how it feel right now. Your own flesh and blood somewhere crying for you, while you know you can't share those tear close or those happiness nearer.

I feel so cold. The night cold air. Isn't that's how it always end?.

Or Begin.