On The Road To Love

Chapter 20

"I trust you...and it scares me to death."

Joe felt his heart simultaneously soar and plummet at Dianne's words. Her lips hovered just a hair above his, her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, and he knew she was finally giving in and confessing to whatever had been eating away at her since he had left her in Bunbury the night before. He remained silent, knowing she had more to say.

"You may not trust people easily, Joe - but I do. Or at least, I used to. You've met my family, you see how loud and crazy and open with emotions we are. I'm so grateful my parents raised me the way they did, but it's also opened me up to a lot of...disappointment," the words rushed out of her quickly, her voice still hushed. He squeezed her waist, encouraging her to continue.

"I trusted a lot of people growing up - family, teachers, friends. I've been lucky to be surrounded by really good people most of my life, but...not everyone is good. In the dance world, it was...is...super competitive. I learned really quickly that not everyone had my best interest in mind," she continued, her voice still quiet, just loud enough to hear over the rain. "I've had my dreams dashed and my heart broken a few too many times for me to still let people in the same way."

"Dianne, I -" Joe tried to interrupt, quickly shutting his mouth as her fingers came to rest on his lips.

"I've let you in," she continued, her voice now just barely above a whisper. "Against everything in my brain telling me to run the other way, my heart decided it had a different idea. I've let you in so fast...and the depth of my feelings scares me. So much."

Joe stared at her, taking in the honest confession that had just practically poured out of her. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed despite the cold rain, and he didn't know what to say in response. All the words in the English language didn't seem adequate enough to convey what he was feeling, to let her know that his feelings were just as deep. 

So instead of using his words, he used his lips, leaning forward to capture hers in a searing kiss. Cupping her face in both of his hands, he tried to put all of the feelings he had into this one moment. He knew he owed her more than that, but for now, it was all his brain could manage.

"Oi, it's bloody freezing out here you knobheads," Caspar's loud voice echoed through the parking lot, causing Joe to pull away quickly. "Stop snogging and unlock the Chipster!"

Joe looked sheepishly down at Dianne who had turned her gaze back toward the ground. Joe felt as though he was losing her again, like she was quickly slipping out of his grip and before he realized what the was doing, he grasped her chin and pulled it back up so their eyes were once again locked.

"This conversation is not over Dianne Buswell," he murmured desperately, "Don't disappear on me."

He watched as Dianne's eyes widened, clearly taking in the full meaning of his words. She nodded slowly and he took that as his cue to fish the keys out of his pocket and toss them toward Caspar as they began to move again toward Chippy.

"Time for dry clothes, " Caspar muttered to himself, unlocking the door and sliding it open to let them in behind him.

Joe held tightly onto Dianne's hand, pulling her up and into the back of the van. He took it as a good sign when she continued to hold on, even as he rummaged through his suitcase for more warm clothes.

---

Dianne knew she was being clingy. If she had been watching herself from the outside, she would be screaming at the girl hanging onto Joe's hand to let go and be stronger - to take control of the situation that had been spiraling for the last 72 hours. But all she could do was grip tighter to his hand as he dug around his suitcase, pulling out a big t-shirt and another pair of joggers for her to wear. And she couldn't help but curl into his side the second she was done changing, even as he was still pulling on his own hoodie. She was a magnet and he was metal - drawing her to him without even trying. She knew they each had so much more to say, but she could also feel the time slipping away. They had this one night to figure it all out, and she was desperate to soak him in while she still had the chance.