Violet Jackson can barely take a breath of senior year before Flynn Davis walks down the hall of her high school. It takes one look at him to have her world come crashing down.
She thought that Flynn Davis is no more than Sebastian Reynolds, who di...
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Carrying my duffle bag inside was one of the hardest things I've had to endure. The simple task became so much harder because of my brain that refuses to focus.
My mind and body is pleading to be calmed with either ice cold water or sleep. I can never describe to anyone the pain of the guilt. My pain.
It feels as if I'm having an anxiety attack but it doesn't surface. Every nerve in my body burns as I get an overwhelming-crushing fear of myself. I drown in self depression and guilt.
"How was the show?" Mom asks when Flynn and I are finally inside the house. I know she can see the pained expression on my face because I'm trying to hold everything inside.
"It was amazing. One of the best I've been to." Flynn answers when I don't, feeding my mom a lie that she instantly believes.
"That's good to hear." Mom grabs her handbag from beside the door which makes me eye her formal dress on. I had forgotten about her late lunch with work she has today. "I hate to cut this short, but I'm already running late so I'll see you both later."
She leaves and my chest tightens. I needed my mom more than ever right now, but I didn't ask her to stay. I'm left alone again.
"Are you sure you're okay?" My eyes move to Flynn when he asks me this. I feel my cheeks burning because of his question.
I need an excuse for him to leave or not be near me so I can calm the feelings within me. After being chased down by Sebastian's killers, and Abbey Reynolds laying more guilt into me- I feel as if I'm suffocating.
"I'm going to be sick." Maybe the thought of me throwing up and slamming the bathroom door behind me would be enough to keep some distance.
I don't bother going to the downstairs bathroom, instead I run up the stairs and into my bedroom for my en-suite. I throw my phone somewhere on my bed as I launch myself into my bathroom and swing the door close behind me.
Normally I would manage with splashing my face with cold water to stop the attack from coming. The cold water is a way of distracting me from my thoughts because I focus on how cold my body is. It kills the burning nerves within me.
Just my face won't be enough. My hands push back the sliding glass door to the shower and I twist the cold tap on as fast as it goes.
I can't breathe properly- my chest rapidly rises and falls as I try to take in a normal breath. My body shakes as I step under the running water and slide my back down the wall so I can sit under it.
My teeth grit from the temperature and I find myself bringing my knees to my chest when I feel the first tear fall.
Sebastian is dead because of me. The town hates me because I took away the golden child. I can never have a future- no one will want to employ me, no college will want me, not even my father wanted the association with me.
