>>VENT BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE TO VENT TO<<
tw? IDK I'm just talking about why I hate myself lol love that.
Okay so basically I just feel so ugly and worthless and unlovable and not good enough and all my friends are so much prettier than me and my bsf has a boyfriend and they're always like "nOoo, minty, you're so pretty and if people can't see that they're not worth it" but like they just say that to make me feel better. It's all lies. I just want someone to love me and I want to be happy with myself. I feel like whenever I walk into school everyone looks down on me because I'm gross. I hate being picky but the only boy that likes me is weird and basically someone who I wouldn't want to date. And it's not like a hot girl taking pity on an ugly guy. It would be like oh look the two uglies got together. I feel so self centered and stuck up when I say this but being with him would bring my status down lower than it already is. I'm too shy to make a first move or talk to anyone I like and no one talks to me so I'm just gonna be ugly and lonely forever. I want to hide my face. I have horrible acne, I've gone through so many treatments and nothing has worked. No one else's skin is like mine and it's disgusting. All the other girls wear makeup and look gorgeous but even makeup can't cover up my ugly ass face. Nothing will. I want to wear a fucking mask. And it sucks because I'm supposed to be the one who has everything together. They're all supposed to come to me, vent to me, but then are never around when I need to vent. I'm supposed to be the one that's okay but I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm sick and fucking tired of always being expected to be fine.
On a completely different topic: I want to come out so bad. I want to be publicly bisexual. I want to wear my fucking pride pin and be proud about it. But I can't. Because my stupid small conservative old fashioned town doesn't do that here. I'll be cast aside, judged even more, hated. I want to have a fucking girlfriend because no boys seem to be interested in me. But I can't. Because no one understands.
To sum it all up: I'm not fine. I'm not okay. But when anyone asks I just have to smile and say I'm great because nO ONE UNDERSTANDS! IM ALWAYS WEIRD OR DIFFERENT AND I JUST WANT TO FIT IN!! I just want to fit in and be pretty and be myself. That's all I'm asking for. Please.
Sorry you guys. This will probably get taken down soon but I needed to get it out.
