behind the proposition [18+]

the first

The bile in my throat kept rising as the choreographer called for us to practice from the top, and my whole body ached from exhaustion. All I wanted was to sit down, put on a pair of headphones and lose myself in my beats. But dance practice always seemed to come first, and it always felt like it was dragging on for eternity.

Jungkook was missing from today practice. Largely because he was perfect in every way and managed to nail routines within minutes, but more importantly because he was meeting with [Y/N]. I felt a sickening amount of pressure, feeling somewhat responsible for whatever happened in that hotel room given that I had accepted her into the interview process.

I had tried my best not to think about [Y/N] too much, treating her like a problem to be faced in the future. But it now felt more like a reality.

It was so illegal. I knew that, but that side never really came into my mind when it was all theoretical. And so perhaps some of the nausea I was feeling in dance practice wasn't just from the physical side but my guilty conscience slowly brewing and bubbling up. At that moment the door was flung open, and practice was halted by the very overexcited Jungkook strutting into the room.

We crowded around him like schoolgirls excited for the daily dose of gossip even though we already knew exactly what he would say. Jungkook was satisfied with pretty much anything; a girl could literally kiss the tip of his dick and he would say she was best candidate we had seen. The grin on his face confirmed what we already knew his update would be.

"She was amazing," the youngest member gushed, pulling up a chair so that he could properly relay the information, "The way she worked my dick round her mouth - pure perfection. She's confident but I can see she also has this shy side."

"Let me guess - you think she's the best candidate we've had?" Yoongi said, rolling his eyes and the predictable reaction from Jungkook.

"You roll your eyes now Yoongi-hyung, but wait till you meet her," Jungkook said with a more serious look in his eyes.

Our choreographer decided that we had been given enough gossip time for one day and so we were forced back onto the practice floor where we endured another couple hours of gruelling training before we were finally allowed home. I felt a slight relief be lifted off my chest at the fact that at least one member was satisfied by [Y/N], but I knew it would only get harder and more complicated from here.

"Jungkook, don't forget to write up the report from today," I reminded the younger before we went to our own rooms in the dorm, and the younger sighed.

"Namjoon, you know I don't like writing! Why can't you do it for me?"

"Because I wasn't the one having their dick sucked today," I retorted, laughing at the despondent look on his face.

The report system was another more recent addition to the interview process. It meant that it was easier to make decisions on the candidates because we had written records of the boy's initial reactions to their experience with said candidate. As Hoseok had once described it, finding someone to have sex with now involved more paperwork than any of our legal cases.

But it was necessary because sex in the idol world had to be something that was monitored and kept accountable.

My bed greeted me like a warm hug as I lay in it, too exhausted to even get my phone out or do anything but lay with my eyes closed. I couldn't even think about the last time I had received a blowjob, and there was a part of me that was envious of the fact that Jungkook got to 'interview' every girl that applied without fail. The past three candidates hadn't made it past Hoseok or Jimin - they were deemed too basic and boring.

"Jin wants to know what you're eating today," Taehyung popped his head round the door, and I simply shook my head.

"I'm on a diet apparently, I might be allowed a sweet potato if I'm lucky," I lamented, another reason for my lack of energy.

Without realising it, my eyes grew heavy and I slept throughout the rest of the evening until the early hours of the morning when my alarm regrettably woke me from my heavenly sleep. It was mornings like this where I wondered whether it was all worth it. Never allowed to sleep, starving because of crazy diets and schedules, and now being forced to sit in meetings for hours listening to a bunch of legal crap I didn't understand. But I couldn't let the others know this. Instead I had to plaster an enthusiastic smile on my face as we resumed another day in paradise.

Taehyung was already awake, pouting in front of his mirror as he tried a thousand styles for his hair.

"Taehyung you know you look like a model from every angle, stop stressing," I joked with him, and he smiled faintly even though I could tell my words did not appease him.

Taehyung always seemed to take this process more seriously than everyone else. My best bet was probably because he was a hopeless romantic, and seemed to get more attached than the rest of us to the sentimentality of sex.

The rest of the dorm was still asleep as I left, and as I placed the surgical mask over my face, I wondered what today would hold.

-

it's super weird writing from this angle because you start to realise how fucked up the whole plot is...

please vote and comment if you enjoyed 💜