It's a Hard Life [a queen fanfiction]

Chapter 10

It's a hard life
By @magnifico.freddie

Hours passed and no one has left the surgery room with news. Roger and John arrived right after Cristina went into surgery; they hugged me tightly and told me they were here for me. I will forever be very thankful for them.

"Mr. Mercury?" The nurse called.

"Yes? That's me. Is everything okay?" I responded. My heart was beating so fast.
"Is she out of surgery yet?" I asked stressed.

"She's still in surgery. I was calling you to check something."

"Yes of course, anything."

"Cristina was supposed to deliver you a letter. We found it with her belongings. Maybe you want to read it?" She said.

"Yes, please." I instantly replied.

She handed me the letter. The envelope had a lot of blood.
To: Freddie Mercury
From: Cristina
I opened the envelope and started walking back to the waiting room. Then, I started reading.

**

Dear Freddie:

I'm writing to you because I need to say so much, but you won't listen... I miss you, I need you... I want you.
This is a tricky situation, and I've only got myself to blame.
It's just a simple fact of life, it can happen to anyone...
You win, you lose, it's just a chance you're going to take with love. Yes, I fell in love, but now you say it's over, and I'm falling apart.

Freddie, it's a hard life.
It's hard to be true lovers together, to love and live forever in each other's hearts.
It's a long, hard fight to learn to care for each other, to trust in one another right from the start... because when you are in love, everything is different...

I tried to mend the broken pieces, I try to fight back the tears.
People say it's just a state of mind, that it happens to everyone...
How it hurts, deep inside.
When your love has cut you down to size. Life is tough, on your own.
Now I'm waiting for something to fall from the skies... I'm waiting for your love.

Yes, It's a long, hard fight. But I'll always live for tomorrow, I'll try look back at myself and say that I lived for love...

I'm so sorry for everything that happened, I thought Paul was coming over for advice... I... I messed up Freddie, and I'm sorry. Nothing happened between us, I promise. I'm just asking for forgiveness, because I can't take this anymore. It's hard. Life is hard without you, it's hard living this way. Farrokh Bulsara.... you are the reason I wake up, you are the reason I can talk. Freddie Mercury, you are the love of my life.

- Cristina.

My eyes filled with tears.

"Freddie, is everything okay?" Roger asked when he saw I finished reading the letter. He probably realized I was completely destroyed and terrified about the future. I felt so vulnerable, and even though I hated feeling this way, I knew I needed help and support. I couldn't just ignore Roger.

"Nothing is okay, Roger. Cristina is suffering, and at this point I- I" I started breathing heavily. "I don't know if she'll the light of day again..."

The whole band came closer to me and held me in their arms.

"Freddie, we love you." Deaky said. "We're family. We are here for you, and will always be."

The next 3 hours were silent. Until I heard a voice calling my name...

"Mr. Mercury?" Someone asked once again.
This time it was not the nurse, it was the doctor.

"Yes?" I asked right when I heard him speak.

"I am so sorry, we did everything we could..." He put his head down.

"Is she...
Is Cristina... is she... d-d-"

I couldn't finish my sentence.

The doctor nodded slowly.

I collapsed to the floor.
I started crying in a way that not only water came out of my eyes, but pain came out of my heart. Cristina is gone.
She will forever be gone.
I won't sing to her again...
I won't smile with her again...
I didn't even see her for the last three weeks of her life...

Cristina was really gone.
I couldn't kiss her again...
I couldn't beg for her forgiveness....
I couldn't ask her to marry me...
I couldn't laugh with her...
I couldn't eat dinner with her....
I couldn't get old next to her.

***

I ran and left the hospital. I couldn't handle this anymore.
While standing in the parking lot, I remembered all the memories we built together.
All the problems we faced together.
All the jokes I said, every kiss we had, every conversation about the future, every song she sang...

"Yes, it's a hard life, my dear. I forgive you, and I love you." I whispered while looking at the sky and tears were dropping in crazy amounts from my eyes.

THE END