Blush and Bruises *Billy Hargrove X Reader*

Six

You take the next couple weeks to think it over. But something keeps gnawing at you in the back of your mind. Something you don't even want to consider. Something that scares the absolute shit out of you.

But when people start to notice how distracted you've been, and you can't give them a good answer, you decide. You have to know.

*

You sit on the bathroom floor, trembling, and cry. Because you don't know how to tell Steve or your parents. Because you're not ready to face this alone. Because Billy will hate you for ruining his life. Because you're pregnant.

You don't tell anyone that night. This is yours. You get to panic and cry and wait. You'll tell Billy tomorrow. And that will be it. The boy you were starting to love will slip through your fingers and be gone.

You wade through a fog the next day at school. Robin tries to get you to talk, but you can barely even think. Every time you see Billy, you have to stop yourself from crying. You can't work up the nerve to talk to him. You'll wait until after school.

But after school his sister is there, and you can't bring yourself to do it. You'll talk to him at his house.

It takes you three hours to talk yourself into biking to Billy's. When you get there, you're grateful to see his car is the only one there. You stand on the porch for a minute before knocking.

You can hear moans coming from inside. It makes you feel sick. You knew he was fucking other girls, but you didn't want to hear it. Especially not after finding out you were carrying his child.

You knock again, harder this time. If you left now, you didn't know when you'd have the nerve to come back. You knock a third time, but this time there's anger behind it.

Fuck him for sleeping around. Fuck him for not thinking you were enough. Fuck him for knocking you up. And fuck him for not answering the goddamn door!

You pound on the door for a good ten seconds. The moans stop and you can hear Billy cursing up a storm. After a minute, he rips the door open.

"What?!" his expression changes the moment he sees you. "Oh. I... Now's not really a good time." He stands panting in the doorway and you don't know if you want to punch him or fall crying into his arms.

"Yeah, I heard," you say.

His face falls and he closes his eyes. "I've been wanting to tell you something, but you've kind of been avoiding me. And now would be a horrible time to do it." He stops talking when he realizes you're upset. "Look... Hang on, okay?"

He goes back inside for a minute. When he comes back, the girl he was just fucking is behind him. She looks angry. When she sees you standing on the porch, she gives you a look that could have killed. She begins walking down the road and Billy invites you inside.

"Becky? I thought you couldn't stand Becky," you say.

"Yeah, well..." He looks ashamed. "She looks like you."

You don't know how to process this. "We need to talk," you say instead.

"Okay, so, before you tell me that you've made up your mind and you want it to be over, I just need to get something off my chest."

You sigh. You don't have the patience to argue over something that won't even matter anymore in a minute.

"Billy, I-"

He holds up his hand. "I know it probably won't sound genuine now, but, I think-"

"I'm pregnant," you blurt.

"I love you."

"What?" you say in unison.

Billy's eyes go wide as he realizes what you've said. "No," he whispers. "Please tell me you're joking."

Your eyes tear up. "Real supportive for someone who just said he loves me!" You stand up and stalk toward the door.

"Wait! You don't understand!" Billy grabs your arm. When you look at him he's shaking and there are tears in his eyes. "My dad might actually kill me for this. And I don't want to be like him. I don't want to hurt you. Either of you." He brushes his fingertips across your belly. The gesture makes you weak in the knees.

"What are you talking about?"

He tells you about his abusive father. About how utterly alone and scared and helpless he feels. "I can't tell anyone because if it doesn't go anywhere, it'll only make things worse. And if he kicks me out..." he pauses and tears roll down his cheeks. "If he kicks me out, I can't protect Max. And she's a little shit but she's my sister and I love her."

He sits down and puts his head in his hands. You sit next to him, wrapping your arms around him.

"I'm going to be just like him," he whispers.

"You're nothing like him." You grab Billy's face and turn it toward you. "Nothing."

"I fucking choke you on a daily basis! I punish you. I hurt you. All the time."

"That's different."

"How?"

You sigh. "I like it, Billy. Maybe it makes me a freak, but I fucking like it. And I know it makes you feel better." You kiss his temple. "And you don't actually hurt me. You don't do anything I don't want you to. You take care of me. So I know you can take care of us." You lay your hand on your stomach.

"How far along?" he asks.

"I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess... Four weeks?"

A small smile plays at his lips and he pulls out his wallet. You watch as he takes a Polaroid out and hands it to you. It was the last one he had taken. You were laying naked on your bed, but you weren't posing, just smiling up at him.

"That night," he says. "That night I fell in love with you. And... Apparently got you pregnant."

You laugh. All of those words sound bizarre on your ears. He takes the picture and puts it back in his wallet.

"So... I know this is all kinds of backwards, but (Y/N), would you like to go out with me? Like normal people?" Billy holds out his hand and you take it, laughing.