It's a lie if Park Sooyoung doesn't really felt anything during their time together on that show.
The Joy on her, masked the feelings all these time but the real of her still could never forget any of their memories together.
Even her reveluv fans said to some of bbyu shippers that she already move on. Yup.that what she want to show. It's an act that she tried to convinced to herself and others . The reality is opposite.
These past year after wgm, really matured her physically and mentally. She finally understood whats her senior artists been talked about the struggle of celebrity really are after continuosly been busied all these year. She grateful really .
To see the achievement Red Velvet got so far. Never did she imagined when she was trainer she would received this much love from people around the world.
But that's it from her Joy world.
The Park Sooyoung on her still could never move on from one guy who successfully captured her heart till now even when there were barely communication between them.
It will be a lie if she doesn't try to met others guy . She actually tried to met others guy after been introduced by her eonnies and friends. But really. To find a love is not that easy. All the guy she met is either doesn't match her humor or doesn't even tried to match with her personally. The guys she met actually just love the image of her Joy instead to know how Park Sooyoung really is. It's actually frustrated her so much when the guy she met often think of her in sexy and sexual way.
And it's eventually lead her to compare all those guy with that Yook.
Back then she doesn't realised it yet, but now she finally able to see how great Yook Sungjae is as a person.
No wonder everyone adore him too much even her Appa still want him to be his son in law till now. But as usual , she creates so much excused that would lead in another topic .
There were time when she would remember those time with him. She was the happiest at that time. Never did she laughed that much especially with guy who never related her personally. But with sungjae, she able to show how she really is without need to be feminine all the time.
When she alone, she think back how sungjae really respected her as a person and women . He never forced her with skinship instead he tried to match her personality and get closer slowly. Back then, she often think does she lacked somewhere that makes him doesn't seem interest with her, but now she realised how childish she was for thinking that way.
Sungjae been like that bcs he was respected her in a way man supposed to treat women. She can finally understood what the meaning of take care of others silently without that person knowledge.
She really miss him so much
She miss him so much that she feel that she would never meet a guy like him in her entire life. He is really nice, considerate , caring , although he doesn't show his romantic side directly but he often show his care with his action and gesture and also he makes her laugh a lot . He able to wrecked his image or telling her his funny stories just to make she laughed. Really. Each day of their filming would be her happiest time ever after tough and busy schedule all day long
But what she could do ?
It's all her fault.
Sungjae been constantly keep in touch with her after wgm but slowly she tried to distant her way from him bcs she scared to be in love especially when she and him are idols celebrity.
She tried to explained her situation to him in a way he doesn't feel rejected after he confessed his love to her after months of their separation on their wgm.
Both of them agreed that their feeling are mutual. It's just the timing doesn't work for them to actually try it.
She actually glad that sungjae been the considerate he always is, doesn't blame her to be greedy of work instead said that he's willingly wait for her till she is ready and if that time really come , and if both of them still feelings same, he will try to get her back no matter what happened.
Yook Sungjae often watched her as an oppa and supported and cheer her to be confident in herself to show what she got to the public.
So. Yes. She can said that they remained as friend till now, friend who always cheer each other back and given their fully support.
But now, it's been 4 years, they rarely contacting each other anymore. They doesn't even met each other or even accidently met each other.
It's makes Park Sooyoung miss him even more. There a lot of time she feel like she is melody and her bias is Yook Sungjae because of how much she monitored his shows. Her favourite weekend show Master in The House become her fixed routin to must watched no matter how busy she really is. she even watched the show Lovely 95's program where featured sungjae and his 95's friends. She often had loud laugh when watched that and it makes her missed the time when they would filmed wgm and oftenly doing a random activities togethrt.
The worst thing is she even rewatched some BTOB shows or vlive just to see Yook Sungjae's face. Or listening to his voice before she fallen to sleep. Yes she is that much addicted with Yook Sungjae's fever. But she doing that all silently on her own without anyone know especially she doesn't share her bedroom with any members anymore.
Nowadays, She feel so much regret to herself. If only she doesn't try to distant herself with sungjae, she would not feel this miserable
She just miss him so much that she don't know what supposed she do..And she feel too shy to ask others opinion about her love life.
And She don't even know if her sungjae oppa still feel the same as her.
And she doesn't have that courage to make her move, she actually that scared..how if only her still in love with him now ? How if he already move on because of too tired of waiting of her who doesn't appreciated him at all ?
What should she do ?
What can she do now is silently loving him even from a far...
till one day he back into her arm..
She wish that sweet dream would eventually come in reality ....
