A Beautiful Torment

22. Surrender

"I feel like we haven't had girl time in eons." Rachael stretched out lazily on her mom's threadbare sofa, the remote dangling from her hand. She was wearing her new, neon pink leg warmers and her favourite red knitted sweater, and she probably would have died if anybody could see her.

A smile tilted the corners of my mouth and I cradled my mug of hot cocoa in my hands, inhaling the steam. "It has been eons," I agreed.

Rachael's hair had grown out in the last few months and she'd convinced her mom to let her get highlights. I wanted to get them too, but my mom would never go for it. She hated artificially coloured hair.

"So." Rachael rolled onto her stomach and wiggled her eyebrows. "I want to know everything. Where did you guys go? Did he pay? Was it super romantic?"

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my hot cocoa. "It was just a normal date, Rach. A three month anniversary isn't that big of a deal."

"It is at our age," she teased. "Look at Lauren and Shane – they lasted eight days."

"He was just dating her to make that girl, Ashley, jealous."

Rachael waved her hand impatiently. "Semantics."

I shook my head at my best friend and rolled over onto my back. Rachael's mom had the fluffiest carpets ever and I loved lying on the floor, watching television at Rachael's house. It felt like I hadn't been here in forever. My mom was pretty opposed to weekday sleepovers, so Saturday had always been mine and Rachael's girl day, until I started dating Ethan.

In the last three months, Ethan and I had been spending a ton of time together. We usually hung out in the park or went miniature golfing with his sister, Nicole, and then snuck kisses when she was otherwise distracted. I'd only been at his house a handful of times, because my parents seemed convinced that being under the same roof as him for a prolonged period of time would result in my immediate pregnancy. The thought of what we'd have to do to make that happen made me blush so hard, my face turned redder than a tomato, but there no convincing my mom.

"Why, what did you two do for you three month anniversary?" I asked.

Rachael glanced furtively at the doorway.

I caught on immediately and I crawled over to the door, pushing it shut with my foot.

Rachael knocked the volume of the TV up a few notches and wiggled her finger at me, beckoning me closer. I inched forward on my knees, my thoughts fluttering with curiosity. What could they have possibly done that she was terrified her mom would overhear?

"You can't tell anyone," Rachael whispered solemnly.

"Well, duh." I rolled my eyes. "That goes without saying."

"I know." She took a nervous breath. "It's just... if my mom finds out, she'll probably kill me."

"Oh my god!" I almost hit her. "Just tell me, already!"

A sly, secretive grin spread across her face as she leaned closer, her breath hot against the shell of my ear.

"Well," she whispered, "we were hanging out at his house, and his parents weren't home, so..."

When she didn't continue, I almost died from impatience. "So...?" I demanded.

"So," she continued, "we were making out, right? And I could tell he was really into it, because he was moving his hands a lot."

My cheeks burned. The one time Ethan's hands had roamed lower than my hips, I'd bolted away from him so fast, my head had started swimming. I tried to explain to him that it was just because I wasn't expecting it, but he hadn't tried again since.