When The Willow Tree Broke

January 3rd, 2016

Dear Diary,
Today is January 3rd in the year of 2016. Ew, I sound so formal. I'm so scared. I'm pretty sure it will happen after school, so if I can manage to hop on the bus before they spot me I might make it home in one piece. I don't know what to do. If I tell Mom and Dad they'll go all crazy mode and then the school will have to get involved. It's too much to bear. They're already so busy. I don't even want to go to school. I won't be able to focus. I wonder if anyone can tell that something is wrong. I doubt it though. If I write in this diary any time in the future... it'll be a true miracle.
Sincerely,
Willow Delfine.

This page is where all the answers came crashing down for me. My older sister had a way with words. Her story up to this point was brutal to read. I loved her so much, and now everyday I regret forgetting to tell her that. Sure she could be rude, and annoying, and she was a horrible babysitter. But she gave me advice when I needed it. She would cheer me on, and cover me up from trouble sometimes too. I miss her so much. People say she could be alive, but it's been weeks. All this hoping is just tiring. What's the point? Willow can't come back. If she could she would have already.

At least we still have her diary. Mom and Dad didn't want me to read it at first, and I don't blame them. Who am I kidding? I still don't want to read her diary. I've already read some pages. It's clear that my strong, and amazing older sister... is gone. She broke. Even when we were little, Willow would always convince herself she couldn't fix broken things. Clearly, she still thought that way up to the very end. It makes me want to scream. Why'd she leave me? Why'd she go? I've pounded my wall multiple times, trying to answer those questions, but I never can.

"Lighten up Aspen!" That's what she would always tell me. I guess I should have reminded her to lighten up too. "We're the tree duo, and you're supposed to stand tall and be happy. Remember?" It was her running joke. She was Willow and I was Aspen. I used to wish that joke would never be said again. Now I just want to hear her laughter fill our house during dinner time. It feels so empty, and at the same time, suffocating. We don't sit at the dinner table anymore. Her chair is empty. I have another hour to myself, and her diary feels like it's staring me down, begging me to read it.

"Do I really want my questions answered?" I asked aloud to myself. I didn't. I didn't owe it to her to figure out who they were. It was her own fault for not telling Mom and Dad. She brought this all on herself. I shouldn't, no, I would not carry the burden of figuring out what was going through her mind. Still, her diary laid there on my bedroom floor. It was covered in stickers and cursive writing. She said she wanted to make it to the bus. My brain began to wander to the sudden reoccurring fact that in her diary entry she sounded like she wanted to come home. She wanted to come home. But something, or someone, was stopping her from reaching the buses. Willow wanted to come home.

  The sentence replayed itself over and over in my head. My sister wanted to come home. What if she really was out there? What if she was struggling to find her way back? The sheer possibility was so low. I didn't want to hope, but it was like some part of me was screaming to crack open her diary and read the pages. She clearly had been struggling with stress, and test anxiety. She had been losing sleep and skipping meals because she was so busy with projects and school work. Willow had already been spiraling out of a healthy state. If they were the reason why Willow was pushed over the edge, then it is only fair that I should find them and get some answers.

  This will be my own investigation. I would figure it out. Not because I owed it to my sister, but because I owed it to myself to know what truly happened. Of course, this will be my first investigation without Willow leading it. "I need to call out the big guns if I'm really gonna do this." I reached for my phone calling a number I thought I wouldn't call in years. It rang for some time before the girl on the other end picked up. "Look, Aspen if your mom wants to talk to my mom she has my mom's cell phone number." I tried not to act annoyed as I mumbled out, "Hailey, it's about my sister."

  "Whatever scheme or encouraging number you're about to say Aspen, it's not gonna work. Willow's gone!" Her voice trembled. Hailey was Willow's childhood best friend. If anyone knew Willow better than Willow knew herself, it was Hailey. "I know my sister is gone. But I want to know how." Hailey let out a sniffle. "What do you mean?" I took a deep breath. "I have her diary, and I think we owe it to ourselves to know what happened." There was a long pause before Hailey finally responded. "I'm in. When do we meet up?" I looked at my devastatingly empty calendar. "Tomorrow?" Hailey sighed, "Alright then. I'll bring lasagna." She hung up after. Little did I know just how close I would come, to learning more about Willow.