Truly Madly Deeply

Chapter 27

"I won't run so let go of my wrist, please Ibraheem." Misha pleaded and Ibraheem gave her a long look before reluctantly letting go, although he continued to stay close to her to make sure to grab her in case she bolts. Misha rubbed her wrist that had now turned red and Ibraheem noticed his hand print on it feeling guilt prick his heart. She didn't look up at Ibraheem, she didn't want to look at him at all right now, all she wanted to do was go home and cuddle into her bed and fall asleep. "I am sorry for everything I did. I really don't want to apologize because it isn't my fault but if doing this will cool your anger and make you leave me alone, I am willing to do this." Misha replied honestly as she finally looked up at Ibraheem who had been staring at her the entire time.

Her voice was soft now, all the yelling and struggling had exhausted her. The stress was finally starting to get to her now. She didn't know what to do anymore. What to think, what to say so she carefully picked up her words.

"You are really underestimating my family, Ibraheem. You do not know how strict they are, if they ever hear or see me with you or any guy for that matter, my brothers will most likely not listen to an explanation and impose restrictions on me the first chance they get. Hell, they might even try to kill me or get me married at this age, I don't know what they would do and I am too scared to find out. I am scared of you but I am also scared of what they would do to me if that ever happens. And more than anything I am scared of breaking my family's trust. I can't hurt them, I love them too much to pain them and betray them like that." Misha explained while everyone silently listened. "You don't have a sister that you want to protect so you might not understand this but for my family, I am their honor and they won't sit back and watch anyone trying to ruin their honor like that."

Ibraheem understood every word she had said and he could tell she meant everything, he knew her family was protective to crazy limits when he had seen her brother talk to him with an air of hate around him. He knew what she was saying was accurate but he was at a loss of what to do.

"So what do you want me to do then? I am not going to leave you alone." Ibraheem was honest too. He didn't want to hurt her in any way and he didn't want to let her go either. He was facing a dilemma that was unlike any other.

"If I go with you, a guy who is neither blood nor related to me in a marital way, to anywhere, people are going to label me and bash me on that. That is just how our society is. I can't live with that either. I can't live in the constant fear of what if my brothers find out? All they will see is me with a guy, they won't hear the end of it." Misha shuddered at the thought and Ibraheem felt genuine pity for her along with Kamran and Fahad. They had grown up a carefree life so something like this was new to him, it was something they had overlooked because it didn't matter to them. When Ibraheem remained silent, Misha continued.

"I am sure you have met women and girls before who would go to places with you and hangout and be your girlfriend willingly so maybe their families are okay with that or maybe, they have the guts to rebel against them or maybe they are good at sneaking and deception but that is not me. I can't fake it, I can't pretend to do or be something that I am not." By now, Zoya had made an attempt to get close to Misha and was rubbing her back because Misha was trembling. Fahad had let her because he knew they were not going to try to run, they couldn't. "I cannot become your girlfriend for two reasons, Ibraheem."

"And what are those?" Ibraheem said while listening to her intently.

"One is obviously my family, I cannot take such a risk. It is not within me to do something like that. I guess I have made that clear. The second is, I know that when the time comes for me to love someone, whoever that happens to be, I will love him with everything that I have. I want to cherish what he and I will have. I want to experience all my firsts with him. So for that, I can't just become anyone's girlfriend. It is not something I can mess with. Therefore, if and when I meet the one, I want him to understand my circumstances especially my family and then love me the same despite everything. I want to do it the right way, the halal way."

Ibraheem was at a loss of words, he felt a wave of emotions and it was hard for him to describe what he was feeling right now. Misha's declaration had left him speechless.

"I cannot become your girlfriend and I cannot go anywhere with you but I understand that you don't want to leave me alone until you are done playing with me so I will tag along with it until you get bored but you should understand too that I can't comply with some of your wishes because they clash with my morals and beliefs. I am sorry for lying to you. I already told you I won't do it again. We can go back to talking on Facebook until you get tired of playing with me but please don't force your expectations on me because I cannot fulfill them. I hope that is alright with you." Misha said as she finally looked up at him, head held high with an air of dignity and grace. She was proud of what she had said.

"I am not playing with you." Ibraheem said suddenly and Misha frowned. Fahad looked at Ibraheem with a raised eyebrow while Kamran was just shocked. He was clearly not as perceptive as Fahad.

"What do you mean?" Misha questioned, confused. Fahad grinned knowing exactly what Ibraheem meant.

"Nothing. Just try not to seen-zone me from now on, okay?"

"So does that mean you agree with everything I said?" Misha lightened up the slightest and Ibraheem nodded reluctantly.

"Yes, but I am going to overlook all of this if you give me your number." Ibraheem said as he patted his jean pockets to look for a cigarette.

"Done! Wait, what?!"