I'm Yours and I'm Gay

[Chapter 3]

I notice Ian still looking into me as if something was on my face and just to make sure, I ask Jackson.

"Jackson, do I have anything on my face?"

He looks away from his phone and examines my face, "No? Why?"

"Ian is literally burning holes into me with his eyes so I thought something was there"

He smirks, "Or he could just be interested in you and that's why he's looking"

I roll my eyes, "You do realize he's currently with his girlfriend"

"Exactly, even more reason for me to insist that he's interested in you. He's literally beside his girlfriend meaning his attention should be focused on her and only her but it's not because it's on you"

There was seriously no point at arguing with Jackson because once he has made his mind up about something, it won't change unless something drastic happens and guessing by the look of things, nothing drastic will happen anytime soon. I focus my attention back at Ian to see if by any chance he's still looking.

And sure enough, he is. I give him a questioning look as if asking him why in the world he's actually staring at me. It's a good thing he quickly understands what i'm trying to insinuate and mouths back a quick, "I don't know, cause why not?" I shake my head and respond with "Focus on your girlfriend"

In return, he gives me back a gagging reaction and to that, I laugh out loud, loud enough to gain Jackson's attention once again. 

"You two can flirt back in your room you know, this is a public place. Plus I want you to at least gain body count at a reasonable and dignified location"

"Oh shut up will you. We're not flirting"

"Sure you aren't. The hearts in your eyes says otherwise"

Lunch ends in no time and we head to our remaining classes until finally making it back to our dorm. Me and Jackson were heading back to our place when we were stopped in our tracks by none other than Mr. Bad Boy.

"Oh my god, he's totally into you" Jackson whispers, I nudge him in return and tell him to behave.

"Who's he?" Ian says as he looks towards Jackson questioningly

"Don't worry, i'm not his boyfriend. You don't have to engage protective boyfriend mode"

"Jackson!"

To my surprise, Ian simply laughs at this and says, "That's good to know"

I can't deny the fact that this made me all warm inside but quickly reminded myself that I had a boyfriend and that I had no right to become all flirty with a guy I just met this morning.

"Anyways, Ian meet Jackson, my annoying bestfriend and Jackson meet Ian, my new roommate"

They both give each other a traditional handshake and gives each other a nod of approval. After that, Jackson says his goodbye and heads back to his dorm, of course before looking back and giving me and Ian the wiggly eyebrows.

I open the door to our dorm, "Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?"

"He hates Lucas"

"Ah makes sense"

We continued working in silence as we prepared for bed. As I settled in my bed and had already put my phone away, it begins ringing. Great, it's going to take me another hour before I can put it away again. 

I picked up the phone, checked the caller id and it was Lucas. I had to admit that it was quite stupid to have my whole mood changed and to have my heart racing like mad with just seeing his name pop up on my phone.

"Damn, Lucas got you good" Ian says as I give him a small shrug.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how are things?"

"Well, I no longer live in my apartment but other than that everything's been the same"

"Did you move apartments or?"

"I'm staying in the dorms"

"With someone? A guy?"

"With someone. A guy"

I could hear nothing but silence from the other end until, "Hey, Alex, babe"

I turn to Ian with a horrified look and mouthed "What are you doing?"

"Who the fuck is that?"

"My roommate. Don't worry, he's just messing around. He has a girlfriend"

"Well he better watch it"

"He will" I say, giving him a glare. We talked for a few more minutes, catching up on things of course after interrogating me about Ian but soon enough our phone call came to an end. I place my phone back at my side table and gave a sigh of relief. 

Ian's laugh came out almost as an explosion almost as if he was keeping it inside the whole time. "You should've seen the look on your face"

"Well you almost gave me a heart attack, I didn't know you were going to say that" 

"Well it provided you two with something to talk about so instead of scolding me for it, the least you could say is thank you"

"Oh go to sleep already" After our short banter, the lights were dimmed and I could hear Ian's light snores. Kind of ridiculous to think that this guy, who I just met this morning, well in class to be exact, would only be a few steps away from me for this whole year. It's kind of exciting to think that there's someone else now, a new possible friend.

I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. Though the darkness didn't last long because my eyes shot up once again and my breathing was getting heavier and heavier. Right. My insomnia, what an utter fool have I been to completely forget about this problem I had. I guess I just got caught up in the moment and decided to go on with it anyways.

I mean, as long as it doesn't trouble Ian and he doesn't find out, then what's the harm? The victorious feeling I was having only lasted momentarily when the lights were switched back on.

"Alex, You ok?" he asks, turning to his side

"Yeah, i'm alright. Probably since i'm sleeping in a different place tonight but i'll be fine. Go back to sleep" I hope that's enough to reassure him but for now, i'll call that as my victory.

I was wrong.

It was obviously ridiculous for me to think and claim that as my victory. Who was I to think that it would not happen again because it did. Every single night. Each night worse from than the last and clearly, I couldn't keep using the same excuse each time. The thing is my stupid ass keeps forgetting to buy new medication since my last one finished.

It's now been a week since the first time I've moved in and today's dream or nightmare to be accurate has been the worst of all of them. Beatings, bleeding and gore, all from my parents. Tragic is it not? How they should be the one providing you the comfort that you need instead of being the one roaming in your nightmares.

"Ok clearly, something's up. You can't use the same excuses you know. Tell me what's wrong" Ian says waking up in the middle of the night the seventh time this week.

"I'm sorry for waking you up constantly but is it alright if I tell you tomorrow. I already feel bad enough about waking you up, the least I could do is let you sleep right after"

Ian hesitates, I know what he's thinking. "Don't worry, i'll tell you tomorrow. This isn't another excuse"

"Alright. It better not be. Goodnight"

In all honesty, i'm scared. No, petrified. Telling Ian about my problem is just insane. Jackson, my bestfriend, doesn't even know about all this, Lucas doesn't even know this and yet Ian gets to know. A guy who I hardly know anything about. 

But I don't know, something, just something about this guy makes it so easy for me to say yes and obey to what he wants me to do. Maybe that's the kind of bad boy that he is...

Thank you :')