There's a smudge of dirt on my cheek
callused fingers dry and cracked
dust in my darkened hair like snowflakes
you're such a good daughter
they say
they sit at the table
wine glasses full to the brim
my surroundings are clean but I am not.
The empress stands ahead
I am always one step behind
she whispers in my ear
tells me to be good
you're such a good daughter
they say
because I do not speak back
because
I
do
not
fight
back.
water laps over skin
two children
one tanned and one pale
they smile at me
all baby teeth and chubby cheeks
you're such a good sister
they say
the children are clean but I am not.
Fever races through me
I am sick and so is this child
the empress leaves
in the night
presses a bottle of medicine in my hand
you're such a good sister
they say
I am sick and so is this child
but only
one
of us is cared for.
I cannot stay
the empress begs but still I leave
the children cry but I will not stand down
you're such a selfish daughter
the empress
digs her nails into my skin
leans to whisper in my ear
an order
but she is too late
walking
walking
walking
away
you're such a selfish daughter.
I visit the children
they stand at the door
peering outside
slightly older
they smile
cheer
wave
you're such a selfish sister
because I do not stay.
