Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 72

Bellamy knows better than to pry when it comes to me, and he knows that it would be no use trying to convince me to let loose for a day too. So, that's why he left me alone at the wall whilst he patrolled around camp making sure people weren't doing anything too stupid.

The sun has well and truly set, which means our only light source are the various torches and fire pits lit around the camp.

Thankfully, Bellamy noticed the lack of kids manning the wall and got a few gunners posted around the place, agreeing to let them switch shifts earlier than usual so no one misses the party.

I watch Bellamy and Clarke talking for a short while before she leaves, and I can't help the sense of dread that washes over me.

In two days time a Dropship from the Ark is going to come down, filled with supplies and guards, along with Clarke's mother. Once they do, our—or should I say Bellamy and Clarke's—rule will be over.

A lot has happened since we landed here, so much has changed within the camp, and within ourselves. I used to hate the idea of the Ark coming down here, but now...now I know there's no use fighting it. It's just going to be something else to adjust to.

My thoughts are interrupted by Finn approaching me from across the camp, his face unreadable in the dim light. He puts his hands in his pockets, a clear sign to me that he's thinking about something.

"Hey," he says to me.

"I'm not in the mood, Finn."

"You never are." He gives me a look and faces the rest of the camp, "You know that's the most you've said to me in almost three days."

I don't answer him, not really knowing how to as I remember the hallucination of my father and the words he said. The truths that he told me.

Heck, Finn even said it to me on our second day here when he realised I took off my wrist band along with twenty four others, and stood by whilst Murphy and Wells almost killed each other.

I'm just like him. I'm a murderer.

"Look, Chris," Finn continues, still not really looking at me, "I know today is hard for you, but you've got to remember who you are."

"To remind yourself," my father's gruff voice hits me in my mind, "you need to remember who you are."

I shift in my position, turning my head away from him.

"You came to Earth trying to be someone different, I know you did." Finn turns to me, his eyes full of hope as I try to grasp what it is he is saying. "You wanted to be a better person, right?"

I look up at him, giving him a small nod.

Finn clenches his jaw and looks at the gun in my hands before meeting my gaze, "I don't think guns and starting a war are gonna help you achieve that."

It takes me a moment to collect my thoughts, and once I have, I frown, "The Grounders started this, Finn. They attacked us and...Finn you almost DIED."

"I know that," he nods, "but think about it, they were just protecting themselves. I mean, we landed on their territory and started acting like we own the damn place."

"We didn't know they were here." I remind him, my voice rising. "They didn't exactly give us a nice welcoming party when we landed, let alone give us a chance to explain ourselves. That Grounder had been watching us ever since we landed and yet they still attacked us when we tried to rescue Octavia. Do you remember that, Finn? Do you remember watching Mbege, Diggs and Roma die? Because I do."

Finn opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off and stand, "They don't care about what is right or what is fair, Finn, all they know is violence and if that's the way they want to play, then so be it. It's game on."

Finn and I are both silent, the party around us carrying on as if nothing had happened. Eventually, he nods and takes a small step away from me.

"What's the use in playing the game when we can't even see the whole board?"

Finn walks away from me, leaving me simmering and wondering what the hell that was all about.