MAX ORDOS DOES NOT EXIST

MAX ORDOS DOES NOT EXIST: CHAPTER TWO

"Hello?" calls a voice from downstairs. It belongs to a cop with a thick upper body and skinny legs, wearing a brown uniform and matching Stratton hat. He nods when he sees Pearl coming from upstairs. "Thought someone was here," he says, extending his hand. "Sheriff West. You okay? You look a little spooked."

"Yeah," Pearl says. "I'm fine. The smell in here must be getting to me." He shakes West's hand and introduces himself as Frank Thurston. "I teach anthropology over at Boston U but I may transfer to Kadath, so I'm looking at houses." He draws an amused smirk from the sheriff.

"Now why would you leave Boston to move out here to Adams County?" West asks.

"Oh, you know. Better pay, tenure. Tenure goes a long way."

West's smirk flattens into a scowl. "Look, Mr. Pearl," West says. "I know who you are. This is a small town, it's easy to keep an eye on things like out-of-state property inspections."

Pearl nods. Might as well drop the bullshit now, fun as it was. "Fair enough," he says, "but you can drop the 'Mr.' thing. Pearl's my first name." He watches the sheriff smirk again and sighs. "It's a family name."

"It must be," West says, smoothing his mustache away from his mouth. "So you're here for due diligence, right?"

"Yeah."

"And how due is that diligence gonna be?"

"All I'm here to do is assess damage and research the previous owner," Pearl says. "Shouldn't be in your hair too much."

"You're not gonna find much bad about the previous owner," West says. "Ken Carlisle was a good friend, and a good guy. I hate what happened to him." He makes fists, then releases them. "Who's buying this place, anyway?"

"Big developer over in Baltimore," Pearl says.

"Baltimore? The hell do they want a farm out here for?"

"Beats me," Pearl says. "That's not part of my job."

"Mhm." West clicks his tongue. "You about done here?"

"For now," Pearl says. "What's the deal with this squatter I heard about? Looks like he wanted to torch this place."

West frowns as he and Pearl exit the house. "That's Ken's cousin, Dale. Lived with Ken and wouldn't leave when Ken died." He spits on the ground. "Asshole. We got him locked up until his court date, so he won't be coming back here, if that's what you're worried about."

"Thanks," Pearl says. As he walks to his car, he notices the half-built well and asks West about it.

"Ken was...troubled there towards the end," West says. "You have a good afternoon, Mr. Pearl." He extends his hand again, and when Pearl shakes it, the sheriff pulls him close. "Don't ever try to bullshit me again," he growls, then shoves Pearl away and walks off.

Pearl watches West's car drive away before getting into his own. He doesn't like Mr. Pearl. He doesn't like Pearl, period. He can't even go by his middle name, Mayhew. Once Mom and Dad are gone, I'll change my name, he thinks, not for the first time. They both have to be gone, though. He hates his name, but not enough to hurt their feelings.

He stops at his car, then looks back at the well. He puts his soreness about Mr. Pearl aside and walks back inside the fence. The closer he gets to the well, the more his ears ring. Not in the customary tinnitus way, either. It's more like a dead broadcast signal swelling in his head until it leaks out from his tingling nostrils and throbbing ears. Even his teeth hurt. He's close enough to touch the well's brick exterior and the pain drops him to a knee, at which point he retreats to his car.