Phantom of the Opera-Genderbent

Poor Fool

Girlish giggles and the rustle of fabrics mingled with the barks of stage hands and orchestra tuning down below. It was opening night and many had forgotten the threats from the Opera Ghost and were instead caught up in the excitement of their approaching performance. Through the faint smoke from the candles and cigars, could be heard a sharp warning for places. Regardless of those that might have held on to some fears about the Ghost, all was abandoned as performers rushed to their places.

Beyond the thick curtains, the lights dimmed and the eager audience hushed as the conductor signaled to the opera to begin. The curtains lifted revealing an ornate Versaille-like bedroom with a couch down stage right alighted with three ridiculously dressed French aristocrats. The two women's billowing wigs and skirts almost seemed to drown the clownish man seated between them.

The woman dressed in rich lavenders, leaned to the audience, disclosing the latest gossip behind tattling giggles, [singing] "They say that this youth has set my Lady's heart aflame!"

Through the fake door to the stage bedroom entered a mass of feathers, curls, silks, pearls, and pink, The Countess, played only by Carlotta herself followed closely behind by a timid Christian dressed in blues. His character had disguised himself as a maid, hence the apron and intentionally poor wig of girl's hair hiding his true self.

The foppish man cackled at the scandal, [singing] "His Lordship, sure, would die of shock! His Lordship is a laughingstock!"

[singing] "Should he suspect her," the other woman leaned in to her two confidants as she fluffed her orange skirts, "God protect her!"

All three gossips agreed, [singing] "Shame! Shame! Shame! This faithless lady's bound for Hades! Shame! Shame! Shame!"

They all turned from their perches to witness the encounter behind them. Christian was dramatically dusting the furniture around the set while sneaking at the Countess -who seemed to enjoy the secret looks -with a sly smile. The Countess began, "Serafimo - your disguise is perfect!' A knock at door startled all its occupants. "Why who can this be?"

Then entered Piangi's character Don Attilio with his shining buttons and ribbons. [singing] "Gentle wife, admit your loving husband." Don Attilio brandished his cane and grandly approached his disgruntled wife. Both the countess and lover were disappointed at being interrupted, busying themselves far away from each other. Don Attilio greedily watched as the "maid" bustled around pretending to dust. "My love -!" both husband and wife grimaced at the affectionate term, "I am called to England on affairs of State, and must leave you with your new maid." they each smiled lovingly at the maid's backside.

Don Attilio spoke to his audience with a chuckle, "Though I'd happily take the maid with me!"

The Countess whispered behind her fan to the audience, "The old fool is leaving!" She cackled at the thought of her lover's perfect disguise. As the old count turned to leave, his passions took hold of him and he quietly rushed at the maid. He made a quick grab at the maid's skirts and maybe a bit more, but the Countess' annoyed grunt sent him running out the doors with the wave of his capes.

The count stuck his head back through the door to announce to the audience, "I suspect my young bride is untrue to me. I shall not leave but hide over there to observe her!"

At the door's closing, everyone's mood changed. "Serafimo," the Countess sang as Christian threw the duster and the lovers rushed at each other, "away with this pretense!" she ripped the skirts from Christian's waist revealing the maid to be a young man in his pants and dress shirt!

The audience roared with laughter drowning out the dramatic gasps from the actors at this new twist in the countess' scandal.

The Countess continued, drawing closer to her lover and finally embracing him, [singing] "You cannot speak - but kiss me in my husband's absence!" The Countess opened her fan, shielding the two as they boldly kissed. With a greedy smile the Countess sang, "Poor fool, he makes me laugh! Haha, Haha! Time I tried to get a better, better half!"