midnight monotony

cds and enquiry

i think i forgot
to tell the truth
about how i feel.
how i've felt.
because i haven't
dealt well with
its appeal.
specifically, yours.
soft brown eyes
i memorise
map them out
like a galaxy anew
like i forgot
how important
it was.
shining lips
transfix me
till
nothing else matters.
i want you then
crash!
moment shattered
by cds
and enquiry.
every time.
always a distraction,
a cheerful also,
avoiding the attraction
to you.
the light behind
your eyes
shines bright
when you talk
proving me right
that all you speak
is passion
while i just fashion
an excuse or two
in my mind
as to why we don't
"fondue"
maybe because
i'm too busy with
obscure references,
too immature
to really tell
the truth;
the one about
you and me.
but you see
it's really not
as it seems
as the truth is lost
to even me.
locked away
in a box
chained by daiquiri
and regret.
i dig for it
shovelling dirt
from six feet
till monday where
the pile of mud
is taller than me
and splatted with blood.
but i wouldn't tell you that
either.
couldn't.
too scared of what you'd say
to me.
do to me.
or rather, wouldn't do.
you grab the cds
i smile,
at ease.
it's too easy
to settle for
this routine.