You know, when there are constantly people asking you if you're okay, it's really fucking hard to forget that you're not... You can't seem to forget how your own mind is your biggest enemy, or how many people who you've always been there for left. how much you miss them, or how much they betrayed you and turned into something they said they never would become. it even reminds you of how much the cuts on your thighs and hips itch, and how easily people believe the "I'm fine"s and that fake smile that you practice in the mirror every damn day and night trying to perfect it. how they think you're okay when you're on the verge of crying because you're with somebody, and even if they know your deepest darkest secret, but you still can't cry in front of them because they are supposed to think you're getting better, when in reality, you're getting worse. There's so many things that bother you, but you keep it bottled up, because you don't want to annoy people with your problems. then when you're all alone at night the thoughts get to you, so you take it out on yourself at the time when nobody will ever find out.
