Speed ➢ harry styles

Ch. 22 ~ Shower Contemplation

Coffee at Melissa and Anella's place was a rather dull half an hour for me and I suppose I'm only saying this because despite the fact Anella was sitting right next to me, she did not drop any hints implying she liked me back. Or maybe I was at fault because I didn't say anything either. Not that it was easy to with Melissa sitting in the same room watching Pretty Little Liars and complaining ever so often that she had to wait so very long until the identity of "A" was revealed.

Now as I lay on my hotel bed I think that I could've at least struck up a casual conversation with her. Like "Hey Anella, what are you reading?" or "Anella, do you want to go for a jog with me through Central Park sometime?" Why did these heightened emotions have to get in the way of things? Why was love so complicated and tiring?

I decided I could use a midday nap.

I woke up three hours later. I rubbed my eyes and sighed heavily. "If you love me, let me know." I said to the ceiling, the walls, and the furniture. At least they were listening to me. 

I gingerly made my way out of the warm comforter and undressed until I was standing in my underwear. I stepped into the bathroom and ran a hand along my chin and jawline, feeling slight stubble. I did not grow facial hair as quick as most men. It was a shame because I thought I might be able to sport a beard. Or maybe not. I tried growing a mustache once. I didn't shave for weeks and what was I left with? Just some stubble on my upper lip. Some mustache that was, I thought as I frowned at the memory. 

Instead of simply washing my face I removed my underwear and got into the shower. If there came a moment in my life where nothing really seemed right, the least I could do was get in the shower and let the water relax me. 

And I stood in the shower until my very palms were wrinkled. I laughed lightly at the sight of them. They looked like dried prunes.

How long had I been in here? An hour? Two hours? It didn't even matter. I wasn't going to come out until everything in my head had been sorted. In about five minutes I had come to the conclusion that I was to stay in New York until the time allotted for me by Gemma was up. I was to stay and make some sense of Anella and I's relationship and I was to stay to discover what was bugging her because frankly I don't think she's doing too well. She might seem happy but perhaps not content. There was a difference. I mean as humans, we are almost never completely satisfied. There's always something we want and that's just the way it is but I like to think that there are certain moments in life where despite certain hurdles, everything seems to be alright and the preservation of these such moments is highly important.

I laughed at myself. This time it wasn't at my wrinkly palms. It was at the fact that here I was standing in the shower and thinking about life and whatnot. 

Now back to planning my stay in New York until everything made sense again. I'd also have to stay and keep my promise with Anella and care for her as I would do to any of my friends and family. Come to think of it, I still didn't understand her cold shoulder to her family. What was up with that? But I'd have to unravel this mystery gradually. I didn't want to pester her about her personal family affairs because I knew this was a sensitive subject. 

Finally, I had to stay and support Leo with his mission of uncovering a potential murder case. There were so many unanswered questions. So much going on at once and yet all I was previously worrying about was my love life? "Selfish much?" I muttered to myself. I didn't mean to be selfish but I knew what I wanted and remembering Melissa's words from earlier today perhaps Anella wanted the same. Who knows? I'd have to find out. That being established, I reached out and turned off the water and finally got out of the shower. 

I dried my body and my hair. Standing in front of the mirror I placed my hand on my stomach and wondered when was the last time I did any abdominal strength exercises. I would go to the gym now but I'd just showered for nearly an hour and if I went I'd have to shower again.