A divine light struck from above onto what was a body laying peaceful atop a body of clouds. The ray increased in intensity and seared the forehead of the limp figure.
"Fahhh... that hurts - fuck you, yeah that's right" yelled the now animated body, standing on its two feet, taking a taekwondo-like fighting stance.
"Paul" ringed the omnipresent voice.
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? Where even am I?" questioned Paul
"Silence. You were once a kind and young boy... what happened? I watched you, a child with a keen passion for learning, fall down a rabbit-hole of derogatory substance abuse, violence, alcoholism and lust. Were these not the aspects of life I taught you to avoid?"
"What are you? My 엄마? Fuck you yeah tha-"
Before Paul could complete finish his signature phrase, dark cumulonimbus clouds covered the space above Paul's head, frightening him. Rain erupted from the clouds, hitting Paul's face in a rough bukkake fashion with impact, causing him to lose balance and fall over. As small droplets of water felled the omega giant known as Paul, he tripped and dropped through the surface beneath his feet and into a mountain of flames below him. Before he disappeared down into the endless inferno, the same divine light grabbed him by his throat and suspended him a hair's breadth away from doom.
"Do not forget. I am the one saving you. You are a dead man. Nothing. I am giving you a second chance in life."
"What?" Paul asked as sweat dripped down his face "How can I be dead? Are you God?"
"You died on the bench press bench. You were attempting 80kg close grip before the bar slipped from your hand fatally landing directly on your temple as you were re-racking. I saw that you were attempting to get your life back in order at that time, and so, I gave you another chance."
The flames surrounding Paul suddenly extinguished, and the clouds returned to his feet. God loosened his grip around Paul's neck, causing him to gasp for air, "God's one tough guy, I wonder how much he benches?" thought Paul.
"I will return you back to your world, to the year 2019. I know your change will not be immediate, so I will send my assistant, JENNifer, to ensure you stay on the right path. She knows all of your history - past, present and future. Do not lie to her, she will know, and I will be watching."
The ray of light knocked Paul out in one fell swoop, sending him straight to bed.
