Butterfly

two

six months later

"that comes to £8.35, mrs miller, would you like a bag?" i told the lady standing at the till in front of me. she was one of our regulars, and i adored her, sometimes tempted to worship the ground she stood on.

man mila, i wonder why you're such a loser

the little old lady smiled at me, and gave me a knowing look

"of course mila. what's wrong sweetheart? you look so troubled, and you can't be frowning like that the whole time, you'll end up looking like me" she chuckled to herself, pointing at her wrinkled face. the crows feet next to her eyes represented the years of fun and the laughter she'd experienced, and i was wholly jealous. the idea of living a future where i could laugh and smile and feel comfortable with my surroundings- sounds like heaven. as i packed her bread and baked goods into a bag, i opened up to her.

"it's so stupid, mrs miller. it doesn't make any sense to me- i should be excited!" i exclaimer, as she nodded along to my outburst "my best friend georgia, she wants us to go on a night out- drinking and all that jazz. the thing is, the last time i was out at night, it was with the- it was with my ex boyfriend, over a year and a half ago" i stuttered along, clearing my throat. talking about theo was a sticky subject for me. "the long and short of it is, im just scared really. i haven't been out for ages, and it worries me" i smiled at her feebly.

she solemnly nodded her head. she knew about theo, and she banned me from ever saying his name around her: she told me the idea of him makes her want to be sick, which earned a laugh from me.

"darling girl, you know what i'll say. we shan't talk about who-we-shall-not-name, but you're better off without him. maybe going out with, what's her name, georgina? it might be good for you. make new memories to replace the old ones." she gave me a homely smile, and i felt warm inside. "oh-" she continues "we've been over this mila! call me helen, i insist."

i grin at her and apologise, but she only waves her hand at me as if to say 'no bother, love'. i handed her her bag, and wished her a good day as she left, sighing to myself. i agreed with her, i needed to get out more and ignore the nagging doubt in my mind.

i'll come tonight. can i come to yours to get ready? mila x

i fired the text off to georgia, and returned to work. i loved working in a bakery- the homey smell of fresh baked bread and pastries every morning, and serving all the little old ladies that came in with smiles so big, you can tell they lived a long life. i've had many of them try to set me up with their grandsons, ive just never been ready.  i still think about those green eyes though. they hooked me. they dragged me in. i shake my head, trying to wake up and bring myself back  from loser land. i felt my phone vibrate, and pull it out of my back pocket- with great difficulty may i add, skinny jeans are a nightmare

we all know who they remind you of

OMG!! asif ur coming 2nite no way! this is the best, be here for six, we can pick u a hot outfit!! gia xoxo

i sigh at her response. i love georgia, but we're polar opposites. she's tall and blonde, skinny (definitely a size 6, but then again, she spends her whole life at the gym) and has the confidence of a lion. me on the other hand? i like biscuits, and i certainly don't live in the gym, being a solid size 10. i'm 5"2 and haven't grown since i was 12. i used to be so tall for my age, but my body obviously had other ideas. oh and not to mention, i think there are mice who talk more english than me. but we're still best friends, and we have been through everything. when the theo situation occurred, she stood by me through everything. she spent her 18th birthday with me crying in my bed eating ice cream instead of going out drinking, and boy does she like drinking. i think if i didn't have her, i'd still be moping around, crying into a tub of mint choc chip. i smiled to myself.