Sicker Love

Two

Jenesis'POV

*a week later*

I was on the phone with Joel and we were talking about going back to school. "I'm so happy that we go to the same school and live close together."I said. We are sophomores now by the way.

"Me too. Did you get your schedule yet"

"Yeah. I have Spanish first, chemistry, geometry, gym, English, study hall, drawing is last. I have A lunch."

"If we have the same teachers then we have English, drawing, and Spanish together. I have A lunch too. I love our schedules"

"Yay. I'll see you during school too. I can't wait to go to school on Wednesday. I have more friends this year."

"Yeah but why are we both taking Spanish if we both speak it already."

"I don't know. At least it will be a easy class" I laughed

"I'm going to go to sleep. I'm tired from working out and playing basketball today"

"Ok. I'm going to wok out then."

"Ok. I'll call you later" He hung up

I started to write in my diary again. I'll be honest that guy that almost raped me is staying in my mind. I was so scared, I couldn't get him off of me. He looked like a football player and just a mean person. So many things ran through my mind when that happened. Wondering if someone would save me or not. I know it could have been worse but he took most of my clothes off and was touching me everywhere. It's traumatizing. I won't lie I been taking those pain pills because it gets rid of my anxiety and depression. I lied to Joel about it because I didn't want him to worry about me. I feel so bad but I don't because I feel so alone when I'm not on the pills. I could never take anit depressant pills because that makes you heartless after a while instead of better. I just don't want to talk to anybody about it. I feel so embarrassed and weak.

I started to work out and listen to music for a hour. I'm still insecure about my body. Looking in the mirror makes me want to cry.

*the next day*

Joel's POV
Jenesis and I were listening to music while we were on our phones. "I missed you" he kissed her forehead.

"I missed you" she still looked sad. She is more quiet than usual.

"Do you want to talk about anything."

"No but can we cuddle after I use the bathroom" she got off the bed.

"Yeah. Hurry up. I don't wanna be lonely"

"Ok" she laughed then walked out the room.

Once she closed the bathroom door I tried to find her diary. I knew something was on her mind and the only person or thing she would tell about it is her diary. I couldn't find it until I looked in her empty book bag.

I opened it up when the shower turned on. I stared reading yesterday and today. The stuff she said made me sad but also mad because she lied to me and she knows better than that. I feel so bad for letting her walk around alone. She said more stuff in the diary than she did to me. I can see she is the type of person that doesn't like to talk about their feelings.

The shower turned off and she finally came in the room. "What the fuck is this Jenesis" I held up her diary.

"Why are you going through my diary" she raised her voice

"Clearly I have to because you not telling me anything and your lying to me" I raised my voice

"Ok fine I did lie to you but I knew you would make a big deal out of it and I don't like talking about my feelings"

"I know but you shouldn't be taking pain pills for this"

"Well I'm always in pain anyway so it's not like I'm taking them specifically for my depression"

"Admit it, you wouldn't be taking them as much if you weren't depressed"

"Ok fine I wouldn't" she sat done right next to me

"I'm not mad at you ok? I just care about you and I want you to stop doing that. I'm sorry that I let you be alone at the party I regret it more and more."

"It's not your fault."

"I feel like it is. I knew something could happen to you but I still let you be alone at a crowded party with drunk teenagers. I'm sorry" I started to cry

"Don't cry baby. Trust me I did that enough for the both of us. All we can do is learn from our mistakes." She hugged me