The Apparent Junction of Earth and Sky

The Apparent Junction of Earth and Sky, Part X

The truck began its death throes not far from the city, its nose still pointed east. Brendan sat there for a long time, just as the sun was setting, staring out at the horizon and wondering what to do next. Mika was better off without him probably, especially now that he seemed destined to self-pity. What would he do back home? Get drunk on the beach? Watch the goddamn whales? Stand under the swinging, neon pink carnival rides and pretend that the screaming kids didn't remind him of the boy?

And what right did he have to complain anyway? Ciaran was still alive. Her family was gone. Dead. She would remind him of that every night, every time he cried over the things he lost. She would be right to remind him of it. If she didn't remind him of it, she was stupid. And that would make him angry, too, especially after half a bottle of Jameson. Who knows what he would say to her.

South. South was the way to go. There was an ocean there, too, he reminded himself. It wasn't home, but he thought that even home wouldn't feel like home now. So what would it hurt? He could make it to the coast easily, even with this dying vehicle. He would see the ocean again. Maybe it would be quiet there. Maybe it would be peaceful. Maybe he could finally shake off the shackles of work and family and the things that used to be.

For the first time in his life, he did something for himself. He turned off the abandoned highway and went south. He traveled in that direction until the front tires of the truck were stuck in the sand. Brendan stared out of the dirty, smeared windshield and watched the whitecaps break over an empty beach. He pressed his forehead against the steering wheel and began to cry.

There was a half-mile stretch of beach houses nearby, all of them empty. Brendan walked down the empty streets the next day at dawn, peering up at the windows. No life existed behind them. These were all the vacation spots of families. Most were probably wealthy; the rest saved up their measly paychecks for a few years just to spend a week here. When everything began to fall apart, they all ran back to their real homes. They all left this place. That was okay with Brendan. That was just fine now.

At the far end of the beach road, where the street curved away from the ocean at a sharp angle, he found a coral-colored house. The ground floor was nothing but a garage, cold and unconnected to the rest of the house. There were some innertubes there, an air compressor, pool noodles, and not much else. When he climbed the outdoor stairs to the second floor, though, he found that the balcony had an unbeatable view of the splashing waves. The front door was locked, but the wood of the door jamb was warped and untended. It took only a few swift kicks to knock it open. He stepped inside to the smell of mildew and dust. The place was perfectly empty, perfectly impersonal. Anonymous paintings of pastel palm trees hung from the walls. The refrigerator was empty. The microwave was clean. The toilet shimmered and reflected the sunlight that came in through the slits of the window blinds. There were no family photos here, no pet toys or high chairs. This was a place meant for renting, for moving in and leaving after a few days. It was devoid of a soul. Brendan didn't feel so different. It was an empty kindred spirit.

His life over the next month was somewhat happy, if quiet. He would wake up with the sun. Bathe in the ocean. Walk along the beach, hoping that he would see no one. Walk into town, to the local grocery store, where he would pillage the shelves for canned food or pasta or bottled water. Push his rattling cart back home like a homeless man, which, in fact, he was. Be sure to stop at the liquor store, where everything is at a ridiculously discounted cost. Eat. Watch the waves. Watch the dolphins. Watch the sun set. Eat again. Stare at the walls. Sleep. Repeat. The only real excitement was the day he found an old, crooked boardwalk that went out into the sea and then fell away. It had no railings. Many of its planks were missing. It was unsafe and full of adventure. Beyond that, there was nothing special to his life in this place.