Love Bites // Be More Chill // .:Boyf Riends:.

Unspoken

[Michael POV]

The night was a blur. Full of weed-induced mistakes. Watching documentaries. Playing video games. Smoking more weed. Eating all the chips in the apartment. Exposing secrets about themselves to each other. Growing closer. They should've stopped. But they didn't.

Then Jeremy said it.

The words Michael never knew that he needed.

I love you.

You know that moment when you have a near death experience and your life flashes before your eyes? What was going through Michael's head was kind of like that, except slower. Going through the memories carefully. All with Jeremy. They were all blurring together. Through the smoky haze, Michael sputtered the only thing he could think of.

'Wh- What?"

[Jeremy POV]

Jeremy was frozen in fear. He had realized what he had done. His red eyes were overflowing from tears but nothing fell down his face. He picked at the edge of the bandage on his shoulder. It hadn't healed fully because he slept on it weird, reopening the wound. It seemed like forever ago that he flew through Michael's window in a rush of confusion and pain.

"I'm sorry..." Jeremy's voice shook. It was all he knew how to say at the moment. All he could think to say were those two words. I'm sorry

"For what?" Michael asked. What was he apologizing for? He did nothing wrong. Or maybe he did and he just didn't know it. Jeremy felt sick. He didn't know whether it was the weed or the smoke or the stress of the situation but he needed to leave.

He stood up, stumbling a little. Michael stood up to help him but Jeremy was already backing away.

"I'm-" Tears threatened to spill down his face. They burned like fire in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He ran off to the bathroom and slammed the door. Slowly, he slid down the door and sat down on the cold tile floor.

Why did you say that?

You could've said ANYTHING else.

But you chose those three words.

One tear fell down his face, followed by another. And another. He tried to comfort himself like how Michael would but it wasn't the same.

Deep breaths.

It's going to be ok.

No it's not.

You can get through this.

No you can't.

Jeremy's two mindsets were constantly at war with each other. This happened a lot, but never with Michael. Michael would always help him. Now that Jeremy said....that.. things might be different between them. Maybe Michael won't want to stick around. Maybe it'll just make things worse.

Don't listen those thoughts.

Just give in.

You're weak.

You have to go back out there and talk to him.

It's the only way

You're just going to get hurt again.

Maybe this time will be different

You always tell yourself that.

But it's always the same.