I Amsterdam (Completed)

Epilogue Part 2 - Emma

The address was bent and smudged. A corner was torn during its travel around Europe, despite it being granted its own independent compartment within my travelling pack. However, it was still legible, allowing me to reread it over and over again even though I had walked well past its entrance.

2428 Welwyn Avenue.

I entered a room, the room, its walls as white as snow, with the only other source of color boxed in by the straight, organized lines of a large window sitting in front of me. Outside, the sun was rising, bringing the gift to see to millions of eyes. Its rays traversed the yard outside, travelling through the deep green sea of grass, across the bubbling fountain that faintly reminded me of Amsterdam's canals, and past the trees ripe with fruit to kiss the sheen glass pane.

From within the room, the sight alone made me feel cozy inside. Is this the feeling home brings? I wondered.

The room was empty except for a man, relaxed within his wheelchair, gazing out through the window. Upon my entrance, the man slowly rose from his wheelchair, heaving himself up upon the armrests with a groan and turning to face me. The sun was on his back, turning his body into a silhouette, but I could still see the grin that stretched across his face as he caught sight of me, a smile that I haven't seen for a long time - a smile full of gratitude and love. The small movements of his arms showed inner debate of whether or not he should embrace me.

And for a second, I wanted to run.

I wanted to turn back.

But the sunrise behind the man brought me back to reality. As its light stretched to cover the limpid window pane to spread in all the colors of the rainbow, it reminded me. I was reminded of my first day in Amsterdam, looking up to the window of the house in front of me and seeing a boy. I was reminded of waking up every day to watch the sunrise with him. I was reminded of the raven sketch, and watching the lapping ocean waves flow in rhythm with his music. I was reminded of the countryside with his hand on mine and his kiss on my lips, soft and sweet.

I was reminded of Brandon and the part he helped discover in me, a part that adjoins us both now and forever, a part that I know ensures that we will never forget one other and our week together in Amsterdam.

As long as the sun rises everyday, we will be reminded of each other. And I'll always be watching the sunrise with you, Brandon - whenever and wherever I am.

So instead of running away, I stepped forward.

I took another step, and then another, and before I even knew it, I was racing up to be embraced in the man's now outstretched arms.

I cushioned myself against his chest, fighting back tears, and he put his chin on top of my head. When he spoke, I could feel his tearful happiness, and distant memories of his voice that I used to try so hard to push away came flooding back. But the past didn't matter anymore, and nor did the future. Despite what I know or remember, all that mattered right now was the present, with the man's arms around me, and mine around him, both our feet steady and standing on the earth.

"Emma...," he croaked, swallowing a sob. "I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry."

I only tightened my hug around him, showing I care, showing I understand. I remembered the very last image I saw of him before I left the UK, sitting on the couch in his black outfit, staring into space, and I walked out the doorway promising myself nothing would hold me back.

I guess promises are made to be broken.

So when I finally felt like I had control of my voice and my emotions, I at last replied.

"I love you too, Dad."