Woman: handle with care OR What do women look for in men

Care is the core

"Men think that women only love handsome men or heroes...No, they love those who take care of them." (A.Akhmatova).

I can already hear some of you say that it is all about so called laws of attraction - if you hit it off with somebody, then you do. If not, then perform feats, jump above your head- whatever, there will be no good outcome. You like the way the person looks, the way he or she smiles and so on. You are attracted and fancy this man instantly.

Okay, I hear you. Yes, it is true. Oh, wait. Don't forget, there are two sides of a coin, and of each individual: inner and outter. There are beautiful people with ugly souls or there are, literally, ugly looking people with amazingly beautiful souls.

Life is a competition. You discover a great product. And, as you enjoy using it, earlier or later, you see that there is always another product which is nearly the same good! Do you switch off or show your loyalty? By no mean I want to compare a human being to a can of beer or pack of crisps! But think about it: quite often women like the same type of men, say, a tall guy with dark eyes, full lips, nice smile, etc. (I am not going to mention any sizes here). How many men would fall under this description? Thousands. Yet all the men are unique by the way they behave, talk, communicate with other people, etc. And there must be something special about you, something that only you can deliver and something that will make you stand out from the crowd and make your own man.

Men can have the looks and "hot" body they created after living in a gym... but if you don't have the personality to go with it, then it's a big turn off. A good personality, positive vibes coming from you instantly attracts, and can do more than "make up" for average looks. I am pretty sure that you have seen people like that; although they may originally not catch your eye, they attract you from the very moment you start dealing with them. And the other way round, as you are brought together with some negative or selfish people, you get more disappointed and, oh hard decision, you stop communicating with the person.

Let's imagine a situation where there are, say, two men to whom a girl is attracted equally but can't decide whom to choose to start a relationship with. We try to be nice and won't do multi-dating here, it's not fair. You just try and do all the work with one person, all right? So. The poor woman keeps thinking days and nights, as her conscience tells her she has got to make a choice.

As advised by many psychologists in situations like that, you sit down, think and start listing pros and cons; you are being honest, since you do it for your self! Here we go, man number one "good looking", "hot" and "did I mention he was good looking?". Man number two: "cute", "attentive", "kind", "makes me laugh", "cooks amazing pasta", and so on. As you analyse things, you notice that it is not only about the way you are presented visually but ultimately is about the way you live, and engage with the woman, with people around you and so on.

Which of the guys wins here, what you think?

I will tell you more.

Somewhere in the ideal futuristic world, if we had a choice, perhaps, people would have selected for themselves a beautiful face with the body of Greek gods, a sharp mind with the IQ of Albert Einstein, a charismatic and likeable personality; understanding and ever supporting parents; brilliant kids having no behavioural problems. Ideal picture, all are happy and all enjoy the life.

But.., we are given what we are given. We can't choose in advance what kind of people we will be born, we can't choose parents and we can't choose our children. All that is given to us by God, by Universe, by some kind of some forces -whatever your beliefs are. We should be thankful for what we have, and to optimize, to use what was sent us, in the most efficient way. Yes, I know, I know. With all the modern technologies, you can completely alter your face, and even your body. But you can't, literally speaking, insert a few additional grams of brain to make you brighter. You can't make your short body longer or tall body shorter. Still, you can change many personal qualities which will make you a better person, someone, with whom people will enjoy being around.

From my own experience, I know quite a few women who got into relationships with men who they didn't consider as being very attractive in the beginning (or let's say whom they didn't fancy from the first sight). I mean, there is passion or obsession. You see this guy and you want him immediately. Not matter what happens next. And there is attraction which still leaves space for your mind to think in a sober way, which allows you to build a longer lasting contact and relationship.

The women were captivated by all the attention and affection that those men were giving them. They say, Men love with their eyes, and women love with their ears. Men love what they see, while women love what they hear (about them selves)!

So, gentlemen... It is not all only about the looks. Men might find this hard to believe, but it is true. For many women, looks are a requisite but not the most important thing they are looking for in a guy. There are a handful of other things that women look for in a potential partner, and a good mix of these things make it a better chance for a relationship.

Regardless of your position in the looks department, read on to know what are the other qualities that girls value.

So what do women want?

No doubts, all women are different, each has her own preferences. But there is something that would unite them all in terms of man qualities they like. What are these? To answer the question, I went on to do a research. Did you know, you could collect a lot of useful information on women's forums!

I have to confess about my sin, Padre – I registered myself with a few of forums and pretended I was a man. Then I opened a new topic there, asking women for an advice on how to please the girl I have just started to go out with. How or what to do, so she values me and stays with me. The result? Some users where giving me tips, reflecting on their own experience, telling about what they have liked when their partners did something to surprise them. The other women started to give advices on how to behave (!) to keep the girl interested in me – you won't believe but certain ladies were telling, I should not show too much of interest in the beginning, as the woman will get used to it and won't value my efforts. What really interesting for me was, of course, the values they mentioned they wanted or admired in men. And the most of recipients told, they were happy if their partners showed genuine interest in their lives and showed constant care, thus women felt they are being thought of, and loved.

"How was your start in the office? Tell me what ice cream you would like after work, chocolate or vanilla one? I hope you had a good day?". One or a few messages make a big change, you remind about your self and at the same time you show your partner that she is always on your mind. Is not it is a nice feeling, to know that you have someone caring about you, thinking about you?

Both good and bad moments need to be shared, discussed. Listen and talk. Talk and listen. That is a proper communication, which give a good basis for a long-lasting relationship. Keep it open.